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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 5 |
My H and I started Plan A. He cut off contact or so it seemed with this person. Then I found out he was talking to her. He will stop talking to her for a while, then he starts all over again. I don't know what to do. Is he crazy? Why CAN'T he STOP TALKING TO HER? Then I try to talk to him about it. Though I mean to be supportive, as the words roll out of my mouth I begin insulting him and demanding and insiting and disrespecting. UUUGH! Why is this so hard? I am obsessed to the point that I wake up talking to him about it, I interrupt our conversation to discuss it. I think I go days without even knowing who I am dealing with this. I lose motivation to spend time with friends and our children. Help.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
? - It does no good to try to talk to WS about it, or anything for that matter. They completely lose all their brains. You are dealing with an addict, that's why he can't seem to stop. Try not to take it personally - keep reading here, you will see enough people going through exactly what you are going through. In the meantime, keep posting and telling all about your awful experience. It will really help and you will get good feedback. Also try to detach from him emotionally and take care of kids and yourself. Good luck, and glad you are here.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Plan A and B are NOT group efforts. It requires nothibg from the wayward spouse. It is only the actions of the betrayed spouse. I begin insulting him and demanding and insiting and disrespectingIt seems as if you understand that these are NOT part of Plan A (or plan anythng for that matter) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . It's not easy. You have to bite your tongue sometimes and THINK about what you are going to say and WHY. If it's only to hurt them, then don't say anything. Read the links below.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 5 |
Chris and Believer thank you so much because I know what you are saying is right. I am grateful for this site and for people who are willing to share. I stopped talking about it for 2 days now. Yes, I have to count them down because it has been hard. H seems to be responding much better. But the urge to grab his cell phone and talk about it keep coming to me and I WANT TO so bad. But I enjoy what is happening now enough not to say something. But what if he is thinking that he can have his cake and eat it too? He can talk to her and be in the same house and around me and with our child as if he is not doing something that I totally object to. Lordy, Lordy. UUUGGHH!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
? - As you post in here you will soon discover that they are all alike. Thir brains have been sucked out (by the OW?). They have no morality, no loyalty, no nothing. Please keep posting, you will find out that lots of folks here are going through the same thing. Take care, and take care of your children and yourself. You are on the rollercoaster. But things will get better.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
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Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166 |
? - I think there are a few things you sdo not understand about Plan A - it is not about letting them eat cake. Check out: Plan A, Doormats and Love Busters by Zorweb and Cerri on Plan A, which will help you avoid some of the common pitfalls.
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