Yes my son is my fiance's son. SHould I expose this situation? I realize that if I do right now I may be doing it for the wrong reason. However I also realize that I would like it to be known what is happening because I don't want this woman over my son. mAybe the courts would see it my way if it came to any custody rights situation. But I don't want to ruin any chance of our being together either. God I feel like a weight is being lifted off my chest to just let this go.

U R in a difficult situation.

Read the following post I copied from devastated dad's thread:

Hi Dev dad,

I concur with most of the support you have been given and would like to add a few things.

1st read these 2 threads:

plan A 101 revised 2nd edition

Excerpts from the above thread:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>The main element of Plan A is to have the waiting spouse avoid angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments, selfish demands, annoying behavior and dishonesty at all costs! These are the five most common forms of Love Busters!

By avoiding all possible Love Busters there are no withdrawals from the Love Bank of the wayward spouse. Any withdrawals weaken the case for a "safe" environment for the wayward to return to.

In general... anything that would make the wayward unhappy can be deemed as a Love Buster!. One time Love Busters are bad enough... but repetitive occurrences are disastrous.

The wayward defines the Love Buster... not the waiting spouse.

There is an exception that Steve Harley recognizes (as far as a "valid" Love Buster... and that would be, actions needed to protect the waiting spouse and/or children especially from physical harm. These actions, although they may be perceived as Love Busters by the wayward... can not be tolerated!</strong> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> plan b 101 revised 2nd edition

Plan B excerpts:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> <strong> Plan B is not meant to punish the wayward spouse! But to protect the betrayed... to protect the betrayed spouse's Love Bank for the wayward... so it is not drained below any recoverable state.

A consequence of this 'no contact' is that it will then put the burden of satisfying ALL(or most) of the wayward's Emotional Needs on the OP! A very hard thing to do, in most situations...

During the time of Plan B the wayward is to "build" oneself... to work on themselves... to prepare oneself to live without the wayward spouse... and develop tools for good healthy relationships! That includes no Love Busting... since that is an unhealthy action in relationships.

With children in the picture Plan B, in the full sense of "no contact", is sometimes impossible. Everything possible needs to be done so the children will know they are not being abandoned... contact with them must not be stopped or hindered in any way! Just contact with the spouse. Logistics here are difficult... but should be thought through carefully and creatively.</strong> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hope this helps.

Read the links in the thread. You have a child involved. What is his relationship with your son?

L.

orchid I don't quire understad the thread as far as it pertains to children. My son is somewhat close to his father. He is young thouhg.

Plan B with children is hard but doable. This means that you need to identify and set the boundaries for you. Make it clear he is the child's father and responsible as such. You will find several mothers her at MB currently in plan B. This means there is limited contact on a few subjects. When plan B was used by me, I limited it to Mail, Money and child visitation. H was living out of the home and that made it easier.

Your situation is not hopeless but should not be left to be tolerated as is. You do want to get better right? You can only do this for you and your child. Your BF needs to do the same.

L.

*********I have been bouncing all over the place and hadn't realized how menacing and annoying this is. I apologize for hogging the site. Please forgive me***********