My question is to understand why exposing the affair is positive? My husband was or perhaps is having an affair with a much younger co worker. He tells me he is not having the affair anymore. I still have doubts. He seems sincere, but after so much hurt it is hard to trust my feelings. My lawyer says not to stir anything up at his work, because it is my 3 boys bread and butter! I sometimes wish someone there knew so that atleast it would be exposed, but perhaps privately to his direct boss. That way atleast I would feel a bit safer. And, how is a person, like myself supposed to heal if they still work together?

lully,

You mentioned your attorney.....so are you filing for divorce, or working on your marriage? If the affair is over already, I see no reason to go to exposure since the purpose of that is to end an affair. Doing it now would be seen as merely vindictive. Don't fail to make a recovery plan....you can survive infidelity and then fail in recovery without it. The work situation would be addressed during recovery, because you're right....continuing to work with an affair partner is playing with fire. Good Luck

My H had a year-long A w/much younger coworker also. I also was advised to be careful to expose it to the company, as he could lose his job (I of course only thought she may lose hers...duh). My husband issued a NC letter to her, and ONLY after she kept calling him, did I let someone at his job know about the A. A co-worker who we can both trust (not to run his mouth) approached the OW for me, telling her that I was not the type to get "down in the mud with her", but I would reveal the A to her husband, and to her boss if she didn't leave my H alone. It's been three months since that day. If she does come back into the picture, I will tell her husband, and I still contemplate telling her boss (also my husband's boss). Hopefully we won't have to deal with this any longer, as I really don't know what I will or won't do the next time. Really think things out before blowing the whistle where it shouldn't be blown. I wanted to just get her back, but once I thought this through, I realized it "took two to tango, and my H's company may feel that way also"..you may be hurting you and your family. I do however sympathize with you, as I live day-to-day knowing my H and OW run into each other at work so the NC is really hard to believe, but at this point, I am having more faith that my husband is really telling me the truth. Hang in there, it's a tough road.