I haven't written about this until now but things have finally come to a head. Not only am I dealing with a cake-eating WW in an EA but my grandma, who I am very close to, broke her hip and then was diagnosed with brain cancer 4 weeks ago. She was given 5 months to live but last night that was dropped to 1 - 3 weeks. She will not be here with us at Thanksgiving. She has been a faithful servant of the Lord and I know that her final destination is assured. These two events (A and imminent death) have helped to reshape me and my character in truly fundamental ways and I thank God for that. I can feel His hand upon me.

What I need to know is how do I deal with WW at those times when I can barely stand to look at her but she wants to comfort me? Yesterday was particularly bad. The mental imagery of W with OM engaged in PA was haunting me throughout the day and made me sick, and then the new diagnosis came down. WW feels bad that I have to deal with both of these situations but won't stop EA anyway. I guess she doesn't feel that bad. She continues to be in the fog and staying with friends about 50% of the time. Our relationship has settled into some stale sort of stagnant h*ll where we are managing our daily lives (dog, house, jobs) under that same room together (not to be confused with meeting EN's) but little else. It is reminiscent of the period between PA and DDay. Comfortable but not rewarding. WW seems to lack courage to act out the decision she feels she's made about ending M.

When is it time to hit Plan B and kick the cake-eater out (Plan A 5 weeks)? Can I do it under these circumstances?

Please pray for my mom who is really taking all this hard.

I wish you peace and comfort during this time. I have said a prayer for you and your family and hope for the best.

Trying to deal with being around your WS and her behavior is difficult. That compounded with your loved ones illness is more than many could bare. I think that dealing with you WS and her behavior probably has to first start in the way you think about it. The challenge is changing thoughts that prevent you from coping with your situation. I would like to recommed a site that has been helpful to me. It tries to help diminish feelings that weaken your efforts and empower you to cope by changing those thoughts. It is ww.rational.org.nz.

Take it one day at a time. God Bless.