i have approached h on some of this, (phone call, his wish to div, his whereabouts, etc) but he always has an excuse! i have reread parts of SAA and need to start catching up on the lies he gives by asking again and again. the only problem seems to be that everytime i ask h something (about anything!) he gets very defensive and critical of me. (he is waiting for me to LB and i haven't given him much satisfaction on that one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )
we had started a plan A back in July of 99 after i discovered his first a. i had 4 consults w/SH during that time and h joined in for 2. it has seemed in the past 4 years that the more i tried to keep the change in our marriage, the more he would want to get out of m. h has even mentioned to me recently that he remembers the plan A and refuses to let it sway his decision.
i have talked to SH this week and that is why i am looking into the a info. SH says once i find out more details (who, where) then it can be a dead issue, but he says to wait on exposing it to h as h is in a fight/flight mode.
***If your H is asking for a D you may want to let him know that you would like to save the marriage ***
I have told him many times that i am working on our marriage. but he says it doesn't matter, there's nothing left to work on, etc. 2 weeks ago i asked for a separation, (and said i that i still wanted our m to work out) but he has done nothing to prepare for it. (typical cakeman!)
i really don't know what to do yet. I am ready to start plan b since h won't admit or give up on ow, and the stress around here is too much for our s. (last night we were all watching tv, my s asked me where his video tape was and all of a sudden h jumps out of his chair and storms out of the house for 5 minutes.)
what to do? what to do? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
<small>[ November 07, 2003, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: uofmfan ]</small>