My WH still denies having an EA, we bought the book his needs her needs and he states he has been reading it. My cell phone bill detail came out and of course there were more calls to her. We had a horrible marriage counseling appt on Saturday and he left to look for a place to stay and admits going to her house for 15 minutes. He argues the problems in our marriage is not the EA, but what lead up to him going elsewhere. That is true, but how can I move on when he won't do NC? He leaves every other weekends, doesn't try, and then gets mad at me when I want to check his cell phone and e-mails.

I drove by the OW house today and he said he was disgusted with me for doing that and not trusting him!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! He thinks I am pyscho for doing that. I didn't get out of my car, I just wanted to see if he went there (he has been home late every night for the past few weeks, he is a teacher and :"grades" are due.)

Where do I go from here? He now states he loves me but is not in love with me. Why is he so "physco"? When does this end? When does he get his head out of his a@#?

Well tomorrow is his birthday, that should be fun. He also states I am wishy washy but he takes me out to dinner Saturday night then leaves. Comes back Sunday stating it is the first night he missed his family and then tells me today he is not "in" love with me but loves me. And he wonders why I am wishy washy...I can't even begin to focus on the problems our marriage had before the EA with his head so screwed up!Help!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ...how can I move on when he won't do NC? He leaves every other weekends, doesn't try, and then gets mad at me when I want to check his cell phone and e-mails.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sweetie, I think you've got the cart before the horse. Plan A and B are all about getting him to end the affair...it doesn't have to be over to do them. You're not ready to "move on". Go back to those sections of the website and read up.

It's also apparent that he's not ended his affair and he's not working on the marriage. Any attempt by you to "check up" on him at this point will be seen as a LB. Just don't do it. Snoop if you feel you must, but try not to let him know you're doing it. It will not go over well.

Low

This sounds all too familiar. My husband is doing the samething only it is an alcoholic co worker that he must save. This has been going on since july she would call his cell phone at all hours of the night and he would go save her. When I said it was wrong he would get mad. He moved out oct.2 and I know he is with her. No lie she is gross not that I am ready for hollywood but everyone says she looks like a whore. He tells me he loves me but not in love with me.Says he is ambivalent about if he wants the marriage to survive of course I do. He doesn't call anymore and told his parents I am not going to be at their house for the holidays but he plans to take our children I have a problem with that. It is a mess I miss him so much and my kids cry for their daddy. It's been 6 weeks I have a strong faith but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. It is hard when you want something to work out so bad and the other person holds all the cards! I find myself blaming me for what has happened maybe I should have not flipped out when he would take off but I knew it was wrong and I couldn't help it. Our marriage has had communication problems for years and we have some verbal fights that have been very hurtful and I see that noe and can't change the history of our relationship only the future and he won't give me a chance. got any suggestions?