We had a talk tonight, I think I am finally understanding what he is doing or wants right now. For once we had the conversation with him without him being so frustrated with my questions. I need answers and I know he can't answer them now. He is trying to get himself together mentally now (he is bipolar) and emotionally and as well as handling his responsibilities on his own for once in a very very long time. His ex-wife was very controlling and controlled everything even controlled him so much by using his children. Then when we got married he had forgotten how to do anything for himself basically left me to handles everything while he just did whatever. Now that I am not there he is handling everything and finding out how challanging that is but I think it is going to help give him some much needed self esteem that comes by the way of accomplishing things himself and not from the attention of other women.
He said we are still married and right now he is not sure what will happen with that and he doesnt want to make any major decisions as he is one step one still trying to get himself together and he can answer questions for me. Then he said once that happens then we can address step 2 which is to move on or try to work things out.

My thing is I know I have to work on my self esteem but feel that I can't move forward without knowing what I am moving forward too and how to I keep the hope alive only to be crushed if he decides it is over. He said he understood if I had to move on myself and wouldn't fault me for my decisions I make.

I called him back to tell him that it was nice we had a good converstation, then his phone was busy, well I got his VM over and over. I freaked cause I knew this is the time the him and the "other women" would call on her way home from work. I just started freaking again. SO he did call me back and I told him this and I have to stick by it. I told him how nice it was to talk to him and I needed to tell him one more thing and I would just let it go and try to just have regular conversations. I needed to know if he was still talking to her and he said he had had contact with her in a while, whatever that is. I told him that if he was talking to her still that I thought at this point he needed to come clean and tell me the truth so I can make decisions based on facts and not lies what I wanted to do for myself but that if he was still talking to her I had to move on and let him go. FOr my own sake and that if he wanted that for me he needed to be truthful and he said he wasnt talking to her still and wasn't seeing anyone and concentrating on himself. I said ok then I will have to try to trust you on what you are telling me and that was it.

So I am just wondering if this is all driving that crazy should I just move on anyway or just wait. I am so confused!

A while back Toomuchcoffeeman told me to emotionally detach from WS or I would lose my mind. He was right and I think his words apply to you also. I still feel the tingles of panic and suspicion over the unexplained behaviors of WW, but I'm either numb or indifferent to them right now. I told her that I consider her to not be "mine" right now, that her heart belongs to OM and I'll know when she is "mine" again when she opens her life back up to me, honesty, allowing me to read her emails, no crazy phone calls, etc.

You know the A is ongoing, so Plan A is to focus on you, making you a better, more desirable person, and working on the roots of you ENs. Try to meet his ENs as best as possible and that is all you can do. Hang in there. There are many people who care about you.