I have a Plan B NC question.

My WW has been pretty good about NC request, but has emailed me 3 times in the last week conserning issues with the kids i.e. visitation arrangements and holiday schedules. Since these emails pertain only to the children, should I be responding? Obviously, since children are involved there is going to be some communication traffic. Is replying to emails under these conditions aceptable or advisable under Plan B, or should I force her to go threw a third party? Sometimes it is impractical/impossible to go threw a third party due to timming.

Any thoughts?

COmmunicating where there are children involved seems to be the exception to Plan B. However if you feel that it will cause you to feel vulnerable to discussing other things or you feel replying by email will encourage your WS to discuss other things then you may want to reply to the email by a 3rd party. If not, then it may be more convient to simply email back. Either way even if the other party starts talking about other thing ie:your relationship, you still can limit your discussion to only the children in your reply.

Wishing you the best.

My FWH and I went thru this. I choose to use e-mail when it came to the children. It worked fine. I just stated simple facts and nothing extra. I didn't even put a salutaion or sign my name. The e-mails from my side were very straight forward and cold.

However, if getting e-mail from your WW is going to be desturbing and keep you from focusing on you, I'd go thru a 3rd person.

Sorry to hear that you reached the Plan B point. Remeber that this is the time to work on you and free yourself from the emmotions of the affair.

Many prayers,

Le

Thanks for the advise!

I'll probably continue to use email for kid issuse, unless my WW starts to abuse it or initiate unnecesary communications. Up until now my replies have been short and sweet.

OaO- Yeah, it sucked to have to go to Plan B. But what else could I do, my WW is a cake-eater. as difficult as it has been, I have felt better the last week and a half, than in the last 3 months. It is such a relief not to have any chips on the table to get swept away! Thanks for the prayers!

Just a word of caution about emails. If you communicate with your W through emails instead of a third party, she may start writing other things besides those relating to kids. Because you are going to be curious about what she writes, you will read her emails and this may disturb, depress, or set you back. Any contact without a third person can cause setbacks in your plan B.

I sometimes would listen to phone conversations with W and Ds and also ask Ds about their mom. I would be doing ok in plan B, start feeling good about things, then BOOM, listen in on a conversation and I was back to feeling depressed. Plan B is not only for your Ws sake and ending the affair by letting OP try to meet all of her needs, but it is a way to emotionally detach for the BS. I'd suggest getting a third party to communicate about kids. Email is too easy to just read and set you back. Just my opinion...