Hi everybody, Things are not going well. Her affair started a year ago, She ended it and moved back home with me and the kids five months ago. At that time, she agreed to do the MB thing. She started to read and do the questionaire and then just stopped. There were brief periods where things seemed to be improving...... And now, She said I can never make her happy, but she doesn't know what it is that will make her happy. She said too many things were absent from our marriage(passion, good conversation,etc.) to fix it. She was planning on staying married to me for the things I provide and has no interest in working on the marriage. So I told her that I had had enough. It was time to go. I don't understand that line of thinking at all. She values our marraige (our kids home) so little that she is unwilling to try to fix what's broke. I think she never really made an emotional break with the OM and now that he's back in town she has or will resume with him.<BR>I wish I could convince her that it is possible and that it's worth it. I tell you I won't be a very good ex-husband at all. I will do what's right for the kids, but I will never be friends with her again.<BR>Man, I didn''t want things to end like this. She would be perfectly willing to go on like this....until the next OM came along.<BR>Mike

I'm so sorry to hear all this .... I felt the same way your W feels right now. I had to finally give it over to God and let HIM change me. My H was doing everything right ... but it just took time for me to break thru the withdrawal and realize what a wonderful man God gave me.<P>I wish you were able to "stick it out" longer, but I understand how you must feel ... like you're beating your head against the wall ...<P>Unfortunately I don't have any advise, except to turn it over to God ... He's the master healer! I'm proof!

I too have felt (still do sometimes) like your wife is feeling now. I read the book, did the questionnaire, tried to improve my marriage and make it a happy place to be. I keep putting blame on my husband for not making me happy when I can't even pinpoint what it is he's doing wrong. Maybe her unhappiness has nothing to do with you or the OM at all...

Maya, I have noticed how much more positive your posts have become over time. It truly sounds to me like you're heading in the right direction<BR>Holly, I do believe it is within her. I wish we was willing to look deeper and find it.<BR>I wish I could hold on longer too, but I am famous for backing down and trying to accommodate (sp?) her. If I could get something, anything from her I would hang in there. I have dealt with this for a year, my other relationships, health and work is suffering. I desperately want someone to be interested in my needs, to care whether or not I'm happy. I am a prime candidate for an affair...lol.<BR>I hope you both find what you are seeking.<BR>Mike