This weekend I had to start Plan B. My life has been pretty tough with battling A and 6 week long cancer battle ending in the recent death of a close grandma occuring simultaneously. I did 3 weeks of good Plan A and then medical crises overwhelmed those efforts, I've been just hangin on since then.
Saturday, I talked to WW and indicated that I was beginning Plan B and the reasons for it. (I was very hurt on Wed last week when I returned from the funeral and within 2 h she was wanting to talk about us, continuing our separation by her continuing to stay with friends, her counseling session, and her desire for divorce. Her thinking is still all me, Me, ME-oriented and is unwilling to give me sympathy or support while greiving for grandma.)
Anyway, I indicated that while I still have some feelings of love for her I need to protect those feelings and myself from her selfishness and won't be able to have any further contact with her until 1. NC ever again with OM; 2. Desire to work on our M. She went legalistic on me citing how she owned part of the house and had visitation rights with the dog.
So I have ended up with a modified Plan B but still with NC between us: Modified in this way: I have to work 12 h (too long for dog to be couped up) on Monday so WW is going to come take care of and play with the dog on Monday evenings, even though I said I could get the neighbors to help out. WW was pushing for another day as well but I don't really want to give it. WW also strangely wants to do laundry on occasions at our house when I'm not there and feels she has legal rights of ownership to do so. She's probably correct.
My questions are : Am I helping/hurting situation by allowing dog visitation and laundry rights while I'm gone for holidays? Should she be able to stay in OUR house during holidays while I'm away since this will maintain NC between us. Does Plan B really mean kicking her out of the house and don't come back at all until NC with OM and seeking marriage?
I did this in part to bring stability to my life. For the past month I didn't know if she was staying at the house that night, wanting to talk, or going to stay with friends to lay board games and go to movies. But Sat and Sun were much harder than I had expected because now I don't have the opportunity to seek her either. Kinda lonely and the bed is cold when I climb in. Both harsh realities I'm starting to get used to. Plan B kinda allows your feelings to fade away, doesn't it? It's pretty tough right now. Thanks for your support and guidance.
<small>[ November 24, 2003, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Ridingtherollercoaster ]</small>
