I have been seperated from my husband since July. He continues to work with ow. He is going to counseling and says he is making progress to return to our m. I do not believe anything he says anymore...so many lies...!!! I told him last week inour session that until he decides to return to the m that I do not want to see him, excepot for the days we have to see him for soccer. He coaches my 4 year olds team. When he left in July it seemed we would never like each other...I began to implement plan a... and it worked to a certain extent. He told our counselor that he saw the old me and that he realized how special I am and the special things I do...It just seemed to drag along...he kept telling me he was working to come back, In the mean time one morning I get a call from his mom saying he didn't come home...another time I found a note she wrote him about eating his yummy brownies. She is 23, young and thin. I am 36, I have 3 boys ages: 4, 2, and 1. I am overweight and depressed. I am currently on lexapro and it has helped, but i can't get by a day without xanax. I continue to have panick attacks all th time. I still can't beleive that after a year of riding this roller coaster that we haven't been able to sort things out. Last year he started seeing her in october. he confessed his affair to me in january. they proclaim they never had sex. ha! He now claims that he is not seeing her. That although they work ogether, he does not talk to her, unless necessary for work purposes. Thus, at our last meeting with our counselor, whom is extremely familiar w/ dr harley's methods, I said that I will implement plan b. So now what? The holidays are coming and the children can not be with him unsupervsed. As long as we are still married I will not allow that whore to be around my children. no way! So I told him we would only see him on mondays, wednesdays and saturdays and that I would be in and out of the picture those days. I guess I am discretely not allowing him to be with the children alone!!!! COuld this be considered a plan b??? Also, he seems to be spending money somewhere??? He bounced our phone bill and he had more than enough money to pay... when I inquired he just denied and said he would be happy to sit with me to show his expenses. should I get a lwayer involved just to make sure we cover our bills? I am so upset and frusatrated...i just want off this crazy train!

lully - Time to emotionally detach. See lbc's post on this board and scroll down to awed's posts about emotionally detaching. There is even an exercise to do. During this time you need to take care of yourself, exercise, do things with friends, etc. It has been going on too long. If you decide on Plan B, you will need to give him a letter. But I urge you to do the emotional detachment thing first, you are being too hurt by this to do what you need to do. Hang in there, calm down, and hugs to you.