Hi there,
I am doing well thank you for asking.Coping better little by little each day.I am getting to a point where I am not even sure I want WH back whereas before, I really wanted to work on my marriage.But,with my WH latest announcement a week and a half ago that when he returns to Los Angeles,he was going to see OW and her "family"(lie) for New Years, I changed my position.What a coincidence that OW would be in the exact same city on the same day he returns.More lies.I know that they made plans ahead of time.So does both our families.
So,instead of me doing a great Plan A,filling EN's and spending quality family time for the 10 days he was here at home,I basically went about my business,partially ignoring him and went into Plan B mode after he told me,crying on the phone what he was going to do.This homewrecker lives in Canada.So the physical A is hard to keep going since H got another job(he was "let go" from Canada job and what a blessing!)but I know that they have been in contact other ways(cell phones and e-mails).
While WH was here,he tried to hug me and talk but I wouldn't have it. I just couldn't after telling me that he was going to be meeting with OW after leaving us,his family.I have told him repeatedly that there is nothing to talk about until that OW is out of the picture and so far he is still going with his "feelings".I am spent and have no more energy to listen to him and his feelings,all the while he is hurting me and he is just trying to make himself feel better as if spilling his soul to me repeatedly is going to cleanse him or something but meanwhile I get "stabbed" over and over. Well, I had to say enough.
WH is rather comfortable I think in what he is doing despite the real pain and sadness he is still causing.He is either a good actor or in denial or really that coldhearted,I haven't decided which yet.
So,at least,I have the support of my family and his,I am at my home which I LOVE dearly and I have my girls to take care of.It has been tough though since this year has been really bad in many different ways for our families(death,cancer,etc).I get mad at mt WH for his stupid actions and making this the hardest past few months of my life to deal with.But he is back in LA again now so I can rest much easier for now.He is due to come home in 3 weeks for a couple days.I am dreading that.I may just not be home afterall.Lol WH is working on a 3 month job but it may turn out to be permanent,we'll see in March though.
WH career has also taken a toll on us since his line of work is most concentrated on the West coast so we haven't has much of a chance in the beginning even to try and make this work,we have been apart too much in our marriage in general due to his career.Most definitely part of the problem.My latest thought process is just how long do I want to be in Plan B before deciding on divorce because it does not look good for any hope for us.
Anyway,there's most of my story.I will read yours and become more aquainted with it.
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