My D-Day was only 1 1/2 weeks ago. I have read the posts about Plan A and I have read the article on this website (I am waiting for my books, SAA and TA to be delivered).

But I am having a problem understanding and following Plan A. I am supposed to only speak to WS with love and affection?! WTF?! I am so angry and hurt that I can't hear the sound of his voice without losing it! I want to have a civil conversation with him to discuss what to do now (he has moved out), but I just can't. I miss him so much that I have to restrain myself from calling him at night and telling him to come over, but it hurts more to talk to him/see him.

And now he is telling me that it is good that he moved out (didn't want to originally), because he needs time apart from me to think about what he wants. Is this normal?

I don't think I'm doing well in Plan A. In fact, I don't think I'm in Plan A at all. I have no idea what I want. I don't think attempting to fulfill his EN is going to happen right now - the image of the A is still too fresh. I keep changing my mind between wanting a divorce and wanting to work things out. I know that is normal, but when do I figure it out? I want to go to a MC, but he's stalling now. He's also stalling on leaving his job and having NC with her. So it seems to me as if he has already made his decision. Does that sound accurate?

Well...the most important part of Plan A is avoiding Lovebusters. Anger tends to make that difficult (understatement of the year). Get beneath your anger to the pain, fear and frustration that is causing it. You can express those to him.

First of all, you're not hopeless, but I'm so glad you found this website. I totally understand what you are going through. I wrote your post 5 months ago. The info here doesn't seem to make sense at this time, but an important thing to remember is not to go by your instincts right now. Plan A and B are specific ways to get the affair to end, so that you can start rebuilding your marriage.

I had to Plan A for 4 1/2 months! It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but the A is ended and we are on the road to recovery.

At first, don't worry about meeting WSs ENs. Just work on the love busters. Don't LB at all. That is the key. It confuses the heck out of them and that's good.

Also, spend this time working on you. Yes, this is definitely the time to decide what you want out of life and your relationship.

Don't push him on the MC right now, but why don't you go to IC? Make sure they agree with the MB principles. I had a hard time cuz IC said "Throw out the jerk." Well, not in so many words.

Now is the time to become an expert at Plan A and Plan B and all the other info on this site. Start doing stuff that makes you happy. Call up some girlfriends.

FYI, FWS didn't tell me he was going NC on d-day. The A kept going, but this is definitely the time that he will be making his decision. The point of Plan A is to make WS realize how much he would be losing if he went with the OW. He may not seem to notice or react, but he will definitely be paying attention to what you are doing. After the A, WS thanked me for sticking it out.

And contrary to what your heart is saying, he has not made his decision. Stay strong and keep posting.

You've had good advice so far. Stick with Plan A as much as you can, or at least no LB's. Put H on the back burner and work on yourself. Don't make him the center of your life.

Yes it is very hard to go through all of this, but stick with MB plan to get through this.