Thanks everyone. Some background: we have two small children (5 and 21 mths), so the no contact thing is particularly difficult. I have been in a sort of semi-plan B since he moved out last Wednesday, but this is the official letter.
Please help with the contents before I send it. Also, any advice on how to send a copy to the OW when I don't know her address, email, or place of business?
Thanks - any and all input requested........
My Dearest H –
I am still so in love with you. Knowing that I had a part in sending you into the arms of another woman keeps me awake nightly. You repeatedly tell me that it’s you and not me, but I have looked long and hard at our relationship, and know that there are things I could have done differently…..better.
I hope that over the past few weeks, you’ve noted my willingness to change. I have made our relationship the number one priority in my life – something I should have done long ago. I have made personal changes that I like, taking pride not only in myself but much more.
I would like to show you the full extent of my changes…. but I cannot. I would like to create a new and exciting life with you and our children…. but I cannot. I would like to show you what a truly wonderful and passion filled marriage can be…. but again, I cannot. Until you agree to end your relationship with Linda once and for all, we’ll never know what kind of life we can have together.
Until that happens, I have to avoid seeing or talking to you. *** & *** have agreed to help make arrangements for your visits with the children. Your mom has also expressed interest in helping. You may continue to visit whenever you like, but I cannot be here. If communication is needed regarding the kids, please do so through *** or via email.
I know that the kids are confused and a little scared, so I have to be able remain strong for them. However, I will not let my emotions interfere with my ability to parent the joys of my life, don’t worry.
I ask that you continue to respect my decision to separate myself from you this way. I’ve told you of the pain this affair has caused me, and I simply cannot be around you knowing that you are returning to her.
However, as soon as you are willing to permanently cut your ties with ***, I will be happy and willing to discuss the beautiful future we can have together. You know that I desperately want to rebuild our marriage. It can be done. I haven’t stopped loving you since I first uttered the words thirteen years ago.
My love always,
- Jess
{to OW}I love H with all of my heart and soul. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy and fulfilled. I will wait for him to give me that chance.