In my cosa group (that's codependents of sex addicts) we were discussing a book called I don't love you anymore by David Clark (or Clarke).

This book takes Tough Love and Plan B principles and puts them to biblical principles.

I struggled with the thoughts of plan b because I felt God would want me to continue to love my husband even while in sin, etc.

This book has snapped me right out of it.

I think Harley, David clark and James Dobson all have the tough love/plan B principles right.

So far it's been my fear that's kept me from it and boy, after reading that book, I am convinced that if plan B drives him away or into some other woman's arms then that's really where his heart was all along and I'm better off without him.

Just thought I'd share the book name and author. I highly recommend it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am convinced that if plan B drives him away or into some other woman's arms then that's really where his heart was all along and I'm better off without him.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The wisdom of a thousand posts... summed up in one sentence... I think this often.

Hi Angelia,
How do you like COSA? At the time I was considering it, the group in my area wasnt very organized, so I never went. I'll search for your posts... I'm sorry I missed you all this time... Take care - Dru

Dru....thanks for asking about me. I'm still living with him but making plans to escape. He's very far into his addiction. Porn, escorts, on top of an affair, and the behaviors of a true addict - it sucks being here.

I love my cosa group - I hate being at it but it's a group of women who are right now my only support.

It took me a really long time to find this group - I found there aren't many of them but this one is super.....

A

I hear you... My h crashed really hard before there was any recovery. Divorce was imminent. I could tell no one, it was all too horrible......


I'm glad you found such a great group! Please take care, and I wish you the best! - Dru

<small>[ February 05, 2004, 12:36 PM: Message edited by: Drucilla ]</small>

Hi Angelia

First you know I love you hon...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Dru....thanks for asking about me. I'm still living with him but making plans to escape. He's very far into his addiction. Porn, escorts, on top of an affair, and the behaviors of a true addict - it sucks being here.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Explain to me why are you still there?
Yes, I know co-dependant stuff and a lot of things... bassically hope! I know about this.
But Angelia, I don't know if this COSA groups are really helping you. I mean I know is a 12 steps program right? so READ all over the first step until you believe it AND accept it as a fact. Cause right now, you have not understood that yet, and you think he CAN change. You are powerless over that! And on top, you are enabling him! He has no reason to change! You are still there! and AFTER knowing all this! I know that is called love... if it's healthy love or not is another issue, just have some of that love also for yourself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Also

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I love my cosa group - I hate being at it but it's a group of women who are right now my only support.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Love? hate? wich one is it? I think you hate being there because the reasons that made you go there, but in the end you will love-love it. You will see that is one of the best things that ever happened to you. You are going to grow so much, that later you are going to think.. geee how did I managed before without this.

Please if you can in whatever you can follow the program it helps!

Please please please take care on you!

Miss chatting with you still <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Luv ya