Thank you Jim, Terri, & Bill for your advice.<BR>I certainly don't want to do anything to push her away any farther than she is already. I will wait for some more ideas on implementing Plan A while we are apart. This is all very new to me. Plan A is back on.<BR>She is now staying with her girlfriend from work and her family while she is sorting things out. They have indicated that they don't wish to take sides in this matter, but since OM is wifes and her girlfriends boss,<BR>they seem to find themselves doing things together at and after work as two couples.<BR>This has been going on somewhat for sometime, but now takes on more meaning as it seems a validation of W & OM relation-<BR>ship as a couple. Thinking of writing a letter to friend and husband to ask them to be friends to both but maybe not when they are together. That since we are also friends I see this as extremely threatening and a validation and acceptance of their affair.<BR>Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks again and Happy New Year.

Gale,<P>I'm not sure who "friend" is in "Thinking of writing a letter to friend and husband...". (A few too many "they"s "them"s and "themselves" in your write up... be a bit more specific if you could)<BR>Is it the "girlfriend" you W is living with?...<P>In any case...<BR>Only <B>you</B> would know what would make your wife <B>unhappy</B> (i.e. a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Buster</A>). If in any way you would think this "letter" would make your W unhappy (if she were to find out about it) <B>don't <I>send</I> the letter</B>. You can write the letter! Post it here on the MB forum!... But <B>don't send it</B>!<P>As Steve Harley explained it to me... during <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...you've got to play by her rules (to a certain extent!) That's what makes <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> so hard. Doing a "pure" <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> takes alot of character... doing things that otherw will ridicule about.<P>Prayers to you Gale! <BR>(That BTW is called <B>Plan P</B>)<P>Jim

Thanks Jim. Hope you enjoyed New Years Eve with your children. Sorry about all the thems, etc. Wife is staying with her best friend from work and her husband/family. OM is wifes and her best friends boss. Seems like a tangled mess for a 3 person shop. Will think about your reply. Thanks.

You're welcome...<P>Hey... just like for bc...<P>Do something for yourself...<BR>Take in those bowl games...<BR>or (if your not into sports) a movie...<BR>or a movie rental...<BR> (movies for <B>guys</B> who like movies)...<BR>Make a bowl of chili...<BR>Whatever...<P>Your special... do for <B>you</B> too!<P>Jim