Just e-mailed H to ask him to stay home Thursady. It is a pattern that he will go out every night that I can stay home. So I told him to watch the kids, I will go out. Actually, I am going to his cousin's home. He thought I am going out for whatever he thinks. To have fun.

OW'H is getting panic now. He wants to put pressure to his W to end the A. He also wants to talk to my H to stop it. I encourage him to rock the boat.

Good for you. Hopefully OW's H will come here so we can help him. Stay strong.

OW's H is so frustrated. He kept calling H, but H did not answer. I told him to call home tonight. I will not answer the phone and let him pick it up.

H's cousin said she will talk to him after the two men talk first. Maybe Thursday while I am in her house. Then the other couple will come in the picture.

Please keep praying for everything for me. I feel stronger now. Sun is shining, I went for a short walk, it feels good.

Believer, did you read my earlier posting, Ii is at the end of last page.

I just read it now. Sounds like maybe she was afraid to go home, or drinking. Next time check some motels. They have to be getting a room.

Her husband said that she doesn't need to get a hotel room. They have pleanty of places to go. She has a female friend who is single. He said that she maybe there.

Her brother is angry about that b/c she left the kids alone. So her H and brother are working on her now.

OW's H e-mail again. He said that H maybe seeing someone else. I am very confused.

L&H

Sorry you are having so much disappointment in your life. I wish my WH's OW had an H. Ow is single in my case, with 4 YO S from previous marriage. My WH looks terrible. I think the fog cleared for a few minutes today though. He actually looked sad for a small minute. Good Luck with finding your WH OW. Hope you figure it out soon.

This guy is very confused too. I called him up to asked him how he knew. He said that his W denied that she was with him yesterday. But she admitted she was with my H last Thursday. But didn't say where. I don't know what exactly happened, but I know that they were together.


Furthermore, OW's H told me that OW has a girlfriend who has an empty condo with furniture near her work. OW said that she was there overnight last night. That reminds me a gas reciept of my H near that area where is not close to my house at all. I will dig that out. But OW's H doesn't know the address of this condo.

It has to be his wife. Otherwise why would they keep disappearing together? I think she is lying to save herself. Watch for fireworks.

Yesterday, when I came home, things were not as worm as last week. He didn't cook, and looks auful. It seemed that he had a whole load.

So I coooked. Piano teacher was here for D. We had dinner after the lesson. After that, he has nothing to do. It is like he does not belong to this house. So he started making phone calls, talked the whole evening to differernt people.

I put the kids to bed. Tell them to kiss daddy good night. He looked at them like not seeing them and tell them to go away not to bother his phone calls.

Finally, he finished all his phone calls at almost 11pm. I tried to joke to him by saying wow, you really have long talks, who are you talking to? He was outburst the angry: It is boyfriend. What did you talk to ***(OW's H), he called me today. You have so much to talk to him, why don't you marry him? I was shocked. But I was not angry at all. I just calmly saying that: can you tell me what it is? I don't know what is it about? He said, you know what you are doing. If you keep stirring things, fake one will become true, and the true on...(what is it?), you are ruining everything. then he left.

I don't care how angry he is. I just want to know if this is the right thing to do? I kept praying for peace. This morning, I said good morning to him. I did everything as usual. I made his coffee, breakfast, pack his lunch. He did nto show any appreciation(of course I don't expect). But at least he could not be angry anymore. I know he felt terrible from his look. But he couldn't let it out. I felt pity for him, poor man.

Good girl, stay in Plan A. It includes exposing the affair. It will not be pleasant for H and OW. Of course H will be angry - his little fantasy is coming to an end.

All of this time he and OW could do as they pleased. Now suddenly their actions are catching up to them. Stay the course. You are becoming very strong. You are a woman who will take care of your children and family. I know it is hard, but you are doing it.

I will be thinking about you today. Are you still going to the doctor?

Believer,

Thank you for all your encouragment. I felt that GOD is really watching me by sending you.

Yes, I am going for ultrasound and other exam at 11am. Then I will talk to SH at 2pm. I am supposed to go to H's cousin this evening, H thought I will go to have fun.

I finished reading Dobson's book. I am very confused. He said that after discovering the infidelity, the BS should open the cage door.

None of the following will work:

1. Tell him you don't intend to let him go and you plan to fight for it.

2. Tell him you understand what he's done, and you undertand you gave him some reason to fool around.

3. Tell him how you think you may have contribut to his act and ask for his forgiveness.

4. Don't expect quick improvement. Don't ask him stop seeing OW.

5. Continue treating him as the man of the house. Remind him he is still your H and children;s father.

He said none of these will work. Arn't these all part of Plan A.

Dr. Dobson has a completely different view. I like marriagebuilders better. I think the MB plan has more success stories and lots of people recovering.

To me Dr. Dobson's plan does not allow for people to make mistakes. It is a very straight and narrow view.

One thing he recommend I agree is confidence:

I believe in me. I am no longer afraid. I can cope, regardless of the outcome. I know something I am talking about. I've had my day of sorrow, and I'm through crying. GOD and I can handle whatever life puts in the path.

THis is what I want and need.

Yesterday I also asked him whehter he wants to go to watch Passion of Christ with me. He said no(not surprising), b/c he doesn't like religious.
But I pray GOD open his heart.

I was thinking about your H and OW on the way to work today. I believe the reason she stayed out all night and he came home is so that they can look like they are not together.

With ny H and OW I would see her drive by on her way home, and think well H will probably be here soon. I thought he would stop at the store. Well guess what. In he comes about 20 minutes later with a bag from the store. They were both gone 8 hours, but were trying to fool me by coming home different times.

Your H will not be able to keep this up, because now you are on to them. They will continue to disappear at the same time, and may stagger the hours they come home to try to throw you and OW's H off. I hope OW's H comes here.

The more I read to Dobson's plan, the more it sounds like a Plan B. But it did not have detail descriptions. I think I will stick to the MB Plans. Hope I don't have to go to Plan B.

Please keep praying for me and all the BS.

Just come back from the doctor. First I took another mammagram to make sure last reading was right. After the Dr. read the new ones, i was asked to ultra sound. They found two little things. Then the Dr. came to do the ultrasound by himself. It was a long time, almost an hour. Finally, he concluded that it should not be harmful, but will keep an eye on them. I will need to come back to do another mammagram in 6 months. Hopefully that time this whole thing is over.

Great news! They would not let it go 6 months if they thought it was suspicious.

So that is one less worry. Keep on your plan. Take care of your home and children. This can't go on much longer. I don't think OW wants her H to find out. She will probably start cooling it.

Just hung up with SH. He said that I should not spend too much time and energy on finding out the A. All the evidence are enough. I need to concentrate on improving myself and the R with H. I told him that my mood is still very swing. He told me to get some real anti-D, not the one I am having.