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#470922 03/01/04 02:09 PM
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Just finished cleaning one draw. I think I am done with that today.

I think that my house is pretty clean. the problem is that it is too plain. I need some idea for decoration.

I keep breathing deep trying to get the bad feeling out of my mind. Cosin said: look, you are in good shape, you have education, you have a good job, you have 2 lovely childre, sister, brother, parents. You are in much better position than many others. The only problem is the your H is lost. He will come back. DO you best to make him feel comfortable when he is home. I am doing my best, it feels like no result.

#470923 03/01/04 02:27 PM
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Ask someone to help you decorate. My neighbor has a gift for it, and she came over and we redid things in just about an hour. I spent no money, just rearranged things. Find someone that has the talent, and get help.

Then you will feel good and be able to do some things for you. You need a break.

#470924 03/01/04 02:32 PM
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I will see who can help me with this. D just came home. But my bad feeling comes back. I really hate it. I will do a lot of things to get rid of it.

#470925 03/01/04 02:48 PM
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H just called. He said he will take few hours off today, and he is going to pick up S from school.

I feel nervous, I don't know what to do to make him feel good to be home. Please help me.

#470926 03/01/04 04:20 PM
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I would just clean and do my own thing, and let him have some space and time with the kids.

#470927 03/01/04 11:21 PM
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. 16 or 17 years ago he felt different. NOW is when he feels like sex is a big problem, not then.

People get all confused about when their emotions happened. Emotions are pretty much always RIGHT NOW things.

It's your choice about Plan B. He's not treating you with respect and he doesn't seem to care about the damage he's causing. You can choose to suffer for as long as you want to.

#470928 03/02/04 07:49 AM
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Just J, I appreciate your concern. I really don't want to suffer, but on the other hand, I don't want the kids to have to much of trama either. I am debating myself.

I also pray for his return. Let GOD open his mind.

Last night, he was home. But not much interaction wiht kids. He took S home, then went to computer. D was fussy. He greeted D, but without answer. Then he went to the computer. he said he is hungry. After dinner, he felt asleep till 8:30. I dropped D to an event, he went pick her up. After I out the kids to bed, he was cleaning up the office. I helped a little bit, then went to bed.

I felt empty. he is still not emotionally connected with me. I will just have to keep praying. I will clean more today. Have tire rotations.

#470929 03/02/04 09:45 AM
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Well that sounds like a fun day, tire rotations and cleaning. Try to do something for you too.

I'm disappointed that he didn't spend more time with kids. I guess that was too much to expect.

Try getting a book on decorating to give you ideas. I put up two mirrors that I bought at a garage sale and it really changed the look in my living room.

Then I got a nice art piece and a little tree. Looks great to me.

#470930 03/02/04 09:52 AM
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Just finished tire rotation. I need to pick up some little thing in a store, but it is not open till 10:30. So here I am, sitting in the library. I may pick up some books for decoration here too.

I just read ChrityV's post. She is amazing. She is only a junior member, but what she said is so true, it is all you've been telling me. I am going to post over there.

#470931 03/02/04 10:55 AM
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Thanks for sending me there. That was great. I already referred a couple other people there.

#470932 03/02/04 11:26 AM
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You are welcome, believer.

Just got home. Got a book called Complete idiot's Guide to Decorating your Home. I cleaned out the pantry in the kitchen. I see that there are a lot to do in the house. But I still feel bad and empty. So I reread Christy's psoting, feel that I can fight with it.

I still feel extremly tired. But I need to refocus my attention to something else. I need to pray again.

#470933 03/02/04 12:29 PM
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Just talked to cosin. She said that she already told my in laws. They didn't like to see my family to break. Maybe they will start putting pressure on him. I will call them to see what they think.

#470934 03/02/04 02:11 PM
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Watch out for in-laws. They usually take side of the WS. Hopefully yours won't, but be prepared.

#470935 03/02/04 02:15 PM
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I know, especially I don't have a super relation with them. I do know that they love thier grand children. I will try to be unbias.

Just got a call from a client(I have a side job for mortgage), it gives me something to do besides my hurting time. I need to get more clients to make myslef busy. I was so busy last year and the year before. In Oct., 2002, I had a surgery for ovarian cyst, I even got calls in the hospital. But now, all are quiet down.

#470936 03/02/04 03:38 PM
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I hate this bad feeling. How long will the anti-D kick in. I've been on Celexa for 4 days now. I think that I need to pray again.

#470937 03/02/04 04:41 PM
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I checked it on-line. Should start working within a week. Hang in there.

#470938 03/02/04 04:56 PM
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Kids are home now. But S is not behaving, D is being critizing. She accused me not dicipline him. I am crazy now. I wish GOD send my H home, and kids are behaving. Am I asking too much?

#470939 03/02/04 06:04 PM
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H just called and telling me he is not coming home. I asked him where he is going, he said going out dating. That is big LB and disrespect. I think I am really ready for Plan B.

#470940 03/02/04 06:41 PM
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H just called and telling me he is not coming home. I asked him where he is going, he said going out dating. That is big LB and disrespect.
So? You are in Plan A.

I think I am really ready for Plan B.
Why are you ready?

#470941 03/02/04 06:56 PM
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Christ, Are you saying that I should be in Plan B?


What exactly should I do?

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