spiderslayer already has one.

Her topic is slightly different.

I am getting this bad feeling again. I hate it so much. I will get myself busy to get out of this state.

I am very sick now. My stomach is turning upside down. If I don't eat, I feel hungry, if I eat I want to throw up. I am shaking and hurting.

Don't get sick. Rest and take care of yourself and kids. Did you ever hear back from OW's H?

I am back doing well again. If this gets too hard for you, you might go to Plan B.

I think your anti-D's will start kicking in soon, though.

I don't want to be sick, but I can't help. I am going to take the kids to the mall, and then to a friend's house. Hopefully that will get me off this horrible feeling. I don't know about the anti-d, my heart is still aching. I think I need to go to Plan B sooner. It is killing me now. Is it better in Plan B?

Yep, Plan B is quite pleasant. You get off the rollercoaster.

I don't know how to deal with kids with Plan B. I still haven't talk to in laws yet. They are out of town this weekend. I will have to wait till Sunday night, or Monday morning.

Can I call you later about how it goes?

I just e-mail faith1 of my house photos. Please take a look. Maybe tomorrow she will post it.

I have to keep telling myself that I don't love my H, so I can feel better. Is this normal?

Please do give me a call. But I think you still love your H. He is still in the fog. All you need to do is forget about him for awhile. He will never stay with the homewrecker. Take care of you and kids.

I don't know about my H. I don't think he loves me. he is so CLOD! MEAN. He is not the same one anymore. Kids even don't recognize him.

Lostnhurt -

He is not the same man you married, but that man will come back. It will take some time though. You need to forget about him right now.

He cannot possible stay with OW and her little ones. He is all mixed up. If you are too upset, go to Plan B. Give him a Plan B letter and tell him to move out. Tell him you love him, but to preserve your love for him, you will have NC with him until he has NC with OW.

Then let him go his own way.

It is basically that way already. I don't know what to do with kids.

I just took the kids to Petsmart. We had fun looking at different animals.

Yhis is his 4th nights out. So he is out of the house now.

Believer, It was so nice to hear your voice. It is soothing. I had a good night sleep. He didn't come home till 1:30. I didn't say anything to him.

Now I am awake, my bad feeling comes back. I don't know why. I will try to fight with it. The anti-d is supposed to work now. I will give some more time.

Lostnhurt-

You are normal to be feeling bad. There is a lot of stress in your life right now. Your H is acting very badly, but will change back again. In the meantime, it is up to you.

Stop thinking about him.

L&H

You are where I was a month ago. Then WH left and I felt better. The only time I felt bad was when he came around. Plan B is hard, but I think you will like it better. You really do learn a lot about yourself and your feelings. I have also had fun with my kids since WH has been gone. It sure beats him coming in at 1:30 and me knowing where he was before he came to bed. Now I don't know and I almost don't care at this point. I am letting GOD take it from here, I am putting it on his list of to do things. That is really all you can do. You can't make someone change, they have to see themselves and make the change by themselves. Email me if you ever need to talk.

Believer and NY,

Thank you for your sopport. H took the kids to school(yes, they need to go to school on Sat. for language). I am home alone now. Just talk to cousin. She kept telling me that I need to feel good. Everyone is telling me the same thing. I pray and pray and hopefully I will feel better.

Now i even don't know what to say to H when I see him. I don't want to talk about the M, it is going nowhere. Besides that, there is nothing to say. So it is silent. Guess that is not a good realtionship.

l&H

You are losing all your love for him quickly. I would suggest doing something. Are you in a plan at all right now? This isn't sound good at all. What does Believer say? Should you Plan B?

Many suggest Plan B. But I am not sure. I am very confused. Also I don't know how to face friends either. Everything is so hard.

A couple of friends came over to visit. They were so surprised to see me losing so much weight. I even did know what to say to them.

Lostnhurt-
Tell your friends what is going on. Tell everyone. It is no good to be silent about this. And don't feel bad - WS is the one who should be feeling bad.

You are doing well for how long you have been dealing with this. You are very new. Remember I have been doing this for almost a year. That is why it has gotten easier for me.

I had a great day today. I went to garage sales with my son and let him practice driving. I got lots of plants, and some baby girl clothes. My neighbor has a friend who has a new baby girl. Her H left her, and she only has one outfit for the baby.

I got all kinds of girl things, dresses, blankets, sleepers, etc., most of them new. It was so fun getting girl things after having 2 boys.

Then we went to the reptile store to buy crickets for son's chameleons, then the camera store for film (he is taking photography), then grocery shopping. So I got most of my errands done.

Try to hang in there and get some activities going for you and kids. I looked for your pictures today, but they are not up yet.