Remember guys, that even some of the most "spirtually" strong and those close to Jesus in the Bible had similar feelings, even ministers and pastors today. How do any of us know that what we are doing is God's will? This will be a question we will ask ourselves the rest of our lives. The only thing is that we can let God comfort us and give us strength while we are trying to figure out what HIS will is.

lost, hope things are going well for you today. i am just now realizing that your signature line doesn't tell "us." anything! i feel like i know what's going on w/you but need more to fill in the picture. could you please update your sig line to show ages, how long you've been married, kids, etc.? thanks, and of course continued prayers to you.

LL,

Thank you for your inside. Without all your support, I won't be able to survive through. I keep praying everyday, allmost all the time. Please e-mail me your phone number, so we can talk when we are lonely.

I read your post about your session with Jennifer. I feel your fear and pain about what she said. But just like what you said, we live our life day by day, let GOD handle the rest of it.

Now everyday in the morning, I praise GOD and thank him for another day. I pray that I can be more loving, from the bottom of my heart, toeveryone. The love is coming from GOD. I pray for GOD to change me completely. I stop praying for what I worried, that is the situation I am in. I put that all in HIS hand. That made me feel better.

Just talked to D, she worried so much. She shouldn't in her age. But it is a good sign that she is willing to talk with me. I will try my best to help her. In that way, I will try to forget about WH, let GOD take care of him.

I think that my heart is so numb already. Wh came home at 11:30pm. Me and S were still watching a tape, D just came back from her movie. I was so tired, I mean both phyisical and mental, I went to bed with headache and a Xenax. It didn't matter to me whether he was home or not at all.

How sad...

When my H saw the damage he had done by breaking my arm, the A got even more sexual and intense. He felt bad about how he treated me and sought comfort from her.

Looking back now, I appreciate the pain he was in seeing how he was destroying me and our family, but he needed her even more....

Just take care of yourself and trust that Harley's program will bring him out of this if anything does.

I am beginning to see that there may be some potential for our M, but it's been a long two years... Hang on to hope, realize that you will have a different perspective in two years no matter what happens, and take care of yourself as well as you can for the next few days. He is very unlikely to end contact before the MBW because he has no reason to. The test will be whether he is willing at the MBW and, if not, Plan B which will be a lot easier to handle than what you are doing now.

Cherished,

I am so glad that things are working out in you. I praise GOD for that.

As for me, i don't expect anything now. I just want the whole thing be over soon. I will try my best to do what I can, but not to expect. That way when I look back, i say that I did my best, and no regret, whatever the outcome is. I hope that this state of mind will last too.

Thinking of you all the time.

Lostnhurt,
That is the best attitude you can have. You will do your best and respect that he has his own decision to make.
Cherished

Cherished,

My D is in deep depression. She was crying and sad. I just hung up with her and have to rush home now. I totally understand how she feels. But she showed a totally different face to her dad, which made me such a bad person. It is double dip to me now.

Lostnhurt,
Hang on now for just a few more days. If you go to Plan B now, he may see the MBW as an opportunity to waffle and not make a break with OW. If you can hang on now, you can keep to a resolve to go to Plan B after MBW if he doesn't go to NC. Count the hours...

I think you are likely to need Plan B and it will be your only way to be open to him when he gets to the point of realizing that the A was a fantasy and OW is a woman, not a goddess...
Cherished

Cherished, I am hanging on here. But my children are so hard. D is very very unhappy. I don't know how to help her.

S is showing a sign too. It is such a nice day outside, I even can't get them outside. I offer to ride a bik or walk, but they refused to go. D was crying so hard, her mood swing so badly. If she is in my situation, she already died 100 times. I really worry about her.

well lost, i'm taking off, i don't have computer access where i live now but will be checking back on monday. i don't know if it would help to think this way but consider the MBW the one thing that is needed for your H to wake up and for your M to recover. maybe that will help you last until then. you never know what kind of miracles are in store for you and your H and maybe the MBW is when those miracles will "start" to happen. don't have any advice about the kid situation, i don't have any and haven't really been around kids a lot. i would just spoil them right now but i'm not sure that's the best answer either. don't forget to update your signature line please!! prayers to you.

RR, thank you for your prayers. I am very very upset myself. But I still have to be strong. It is very hard, but I am hanging in here. I kept counting the days now. I have hope, but I can not expect.

I hope you have a great weekend. Prayers for you too. Prayers for you, Cherished.

My bad feeling is haunting me again. I have to do something to stop it.

We just rode the bike to McDonald. Now we came back, I havn'r eaten yet. I rpomise the kids to take them to the mall to look at the puppies. I hope that will help.

I feel like I am in Plan B already, lonely and sad.

Hang in there everyone. We can do this. Please don't worry about me. I have 2 mobile homes, so I can move in with my boys if I have to. However I would rather not.

I'm still very irritated with my WH's lies and self-centeredness. He was never like that before.

Believer,

Thank you. I've been thinking about you all the time. I wish you are here. So I can give you a big hug. I need a hug too.

LNH,

Sorry, have been busy at work today and haven't had time to post until now. I am leaving but have some errands to run. Will be back on later tonight. I will email you my phone number from my AOL account when I get home. I don't do a lot of emailing from my work account for personal reasons.

Do go to the mall and look at the animals. Puppies are about the best because dogs love with such unconditional love. Like I said, anything you can do to force yourself to physically move around will help you, if you're like me. It's just SO hard to make yourself do it when you hurt, and I know how extra-hard it is when the kids are having problems, because I have that, too.

Hang in there.

LL

LL,

you know what, it was so hard to get D to ride the bike to McDonald, I finally yelled at her. She rode with tears, then in 1 minute, things got better. On the way back, she felt great.

I also made appointment to see a conselor for her next Monday. I taped my conversation with D to let Wh listen to it, so he won't think that I am making things up. Actually i rushed to best buy to buy the tape recorder before coming home.

I am leaving for the mall now. Talk to yu later.

Lostnhurt- Please see my post under general questions - about a PFC captured in Iraq. He needs prayers.

Just prayed with D. We prayed that D's condition will be better, i will have less stress, WH will open his heart and return home under GOD, and peace in the world, expecially the people in Iraq. We all had tear.

Wh did call and disappeaed again, which not unusaual. So we went to the mall and saw puppies. Then we went to Sharper Image got some free massage, it feels good. But when we got home, the kids fought again. So I told them that that is the way how a war started. If they want peace, they have to do it from themselves.

Lostnhurt,
You are not in Plan B right now. You are in Plan A. When you are in Plan B, your H is not welcome to be in contact with you unless he is willing to go through a program of recovery that starts with NC with OW. There is a big difference between what you are doing now and what you will be doing if you go to Plan B. This will not last long.
Cherished