I have already posted my story in Just Found Out...
just found out - need advice I am trying to start Plan A. I have read SAA. At this point I have asked WH as many questions as possible about the EA and believe I know everything. The questions in my head have finally started to subside and I am sleeping a bit better. WH has agreed to future honesty although he has not ended the EA. One day he is committed to working things out and knows he must end it, but others days he says it is too hard. We regularly have conversations on what this means the our marriage, why it happend, ENs, etc. We are still very affectionate and he still says he loves me and calls and emails me each day.
In Plan A, is it okay to keep talking about the EA and the OW? For example, this is how our day goes: He walks in the door...I put on a happy face and make sure everything is as perfect as possible...we talk about our day...try to connect...laugh about something...and then I ask him (without LB or anger) if he saw or spoke with OW today. He gives me the details (though I do have to encourage him to share more). I say it hurts me to hear that but thank you for your honesty. I remind him that in order for us to work on the marriage, he cannot keep talking with her (but I do not give him an ultimatum). I still snoop on his cell phone to verify his truthfulness.
Is this okay to do when trying to implement Plan A? Is it okay that I ask about his interaction with the OW and tell him how I feel about it. I know this makes him uncomfortable and the guilt he feels is extreme, but I really think it helps lift the fog. Should I avoid this just so that he is happy at home and does not associate being home with having difficult conversations?
