It is Mardi Gras here in New Orleans and for the 19 years that my H and I have been together he has not been interested in going to any of the big parades, but now that he is with OW he is going to them all. Last night I had a group of friends ask me to go to a parade and I went. It was so much fun!....I have lost 30 lbs and new hairstyle clothes etc. I had lots of guys making advances on me etc. But, unfortunately I got a little intoxicated and text messaged my H from my phone telling him I miss him. Then by the time I got home I was even worse and I emailed him telling him that I miss him and that I have lots of opportunities tonight , but didnt want any of them that I want him and I wanted him to come home and lay by me so I could put my head on his shoulder to sleep like I used to. Oh GOD! oh pitiful I am.
Then he replied this morning with a message of "I understand, I really do, but you need to take someone up on their advances...you cant know that it is me you want if you have never experienced anyone else."
What is that message supposed to mean anyway????

How can I fix the fact that I look pitiful again after several weeks of being strong.

Also, in Plan A is it ok to txt msg or email him every now and then to ask him how he is doing, and just friendly conversation or should I let him do all the contacting?

Please give me insight!!!

Resaann

Glad you had fun. I have always wanted to go to Mardi Gras. However, don't keep sending him messages like this.

If he brings it up again, just tell him you must have been temporarily out of your mind.

But continue going out and having fun.

R

I also like you want to say something like we really miss you. I haven't but he knows deep inside. Just keep posting when you are lonely that is what I do. If no one answers post again. Someone eventually answers. Look for Believer, Lostnhurt, or Amy Maree. They all lift my spirits when they are on. Also Star*fish and octobergirl are also great ones to talk to. Just go have fun and be true to yourself. That is what I tell myself all the time. I could have other men too, but I am true to myself. I know where my heart belongs and until I know differently for sure from him this is where I will stay put.

Good girl, HopelessinNY! Excellent advice.

R -

Sounds like next time you go out and have fun, you need to set some boundaries for yourself. And you will probably have to have a friend help you stick to those boundaries in your moments of alcohol-induced mushiness.

I have been on this road for 8 weeks, and last night was the first night I let myself become intoxicated while out (it might have happened on one other occassion during that time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> maybe). I did not have any thought of contacting WH whatsoever. I just now realized that. Hm.

The girlfriends I was with contacted their old boyfriends at 3 am while we were eating "breakfast" (and getting us almost kicked out of the restaurant - how do I attract these types of fun girls?).

You probably just need more time. Keep posting here. Vent to us. Tell us all the things you really really want to do, and we'll tell you all the reasons that you can't. And we'll keep telling you until you scream, "UNCLE! I give, I WON'T do that again." Huh, HopelessinNY? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugs! Amy

R,

I think we are all pitiful. That is a fatal mistake. We all need to learn to be strong. I am learning to be strong. But everytime WH leaves the house, I was torn. I really hope that we can have something like Mardi Gras here. Come here to vent if you need to. Take care. We are all with you. My h said the same thing, go out to get someone else. But I am commited to my M. I won't do it after a D. I have a 12 year old D. I really don't feel confortable having other man in my life.

I am here today and you gals just keep you chins up. I have tons of cleaning and organizing to do plus a very active 3 YO S. His D doesn't know what he is missing. We will carry on and have fun without WH though. Life is too short to stop for him. He is digging his own hole and pretty soon he will need help getting out of it. I might just throw more dirt on top of him.....but then again maybe I will help him out of it. Definitely a toss up. I am going to go dust and clean and organize and get ready for WH to come on Wed. I am going to make this house shine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Good for you NY. I need to go to the classroom and give my students a hard time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hi girls,

I am new to the circuit, but I hav eone big question. How do you remain strong? I am having trouble with this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

My husband is spending more time with us as a family, but that's it. I dont know if he continues to see OW because he wont even admit that he did it!!

I am so tired of it all. I keep wnating to talk to him, call him daily. He calls me too,but I dont know.

We are supposedly working on it but I am failing tremendously at this. I love him and want my family but I feel like a doormat. Please Please someone help me I feel like I'm drowning!! I cant breathe <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

JT

You may want to start your own threat. You can read my story in Am I in Plan A. A very similar situation. I am sure my H is in A he denied it totally. He stayed out 4 nights a week not coming back till 1 or 2 am. He siad it is not my business to ask where he is.

So you can just stay here, lot of people wil give to advice. I am sorry that I can't help you in any concret way, but I will be with you.

JT2 -

How you get through this is by sticking with us. We are all going through the same thing. We are sticking with the plan and helping each other.

Yep! Chins up everyone. We are all here for each other. Everyone support everyone else.

Wooohoooo! We can do it.

I'm psyching us all up. Is it working yet???

I'm sure it worked for Believer, since she is an eternal optimist. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugs, Amy

Amy, Good for you. We all need to chin up. I felt almost dran again.

Any advice for activity to focus somewhere else? I already a lot of draw cleaning. I may go to buy some grocery and make some good food for the kids. But I may feel sad again. I wish i had no feeling.