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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 311
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I am having some difficulty getting MB points and M principles and discussions across to H. I am aware that women and men communicate differently. So I want to get a better handle on how to approach him. From a male perspective, when you are talking to your W, SO or other females would you give a tip on which methods work best at communicating with you. Whether it be a form of communication that you don't like or somethng in the communication that you do like. Thanks.

Joined: Sep 2001
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free,
Read The Language of Love. It is vey good book.

-rh-

Joined: Jan 2004
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Good point, Free.

I had read too many books lately. I am very confused. I like to know how man want to be talked. My H gets so angry every time I tried to talk. But I controled my voice, it seemed ease things a little bit.

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lostnhurt & Free ...

lol, I am a martian but a different kind. I don't mind my mate teaching me thing that will make us a better partner. Shoot it straight and don't talk around. However trying to push MB concept may not work. It is futile and even dangerous to your M tying to teach your partner.

What to do ?. Well ask him to read HNHN. If that don't work, you practice it ... and "train" him.

He don't need to understand it, he only needs to do it. So even he don't know what is EN or LB or LB$ ... you could train him to fillin your ENs and avoid LBs.

-rh-

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Good idea. I got a book called How can one to pull two of you together. But I am too much now. I need a break.

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Thank for repls guys. what you both sai helps.

Joined: Dec 2003
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I have an idea that may work but it depends on if your husband is really trying to work this out or not. Part of the problem in our R, is that my wife talks about feelings, and expresses herself that way to me when she is communicating. I on the other hand being a typical male state and relate to facts. What we have taken to doing recently and it seems to help is to have her write 2 versions of every story. The first is her feeling version, the second is just the point form facts. I then read both, and can gain a better understanding of her feelings because I also have the facts or details. It seems to work for us. Also, perhaps you can print of any material that you want your husband to read about the concepts. It has an action plan that men relate to. Its not just rehashing the feeling part, but it gives us an action on specifically what to do and the definations of the feelings that you are trying to express. It is very much like a dictionary to wifespeak, which to most men is a different language. Hope this helps>

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SUmmer 2003, Thanks for your reply. This sounds like a good exercise to try.


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