<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:20 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

Hello there.

I am curious - why do you think it hasn't gotten romantic? From what I have read, EAs that go on that long become romantic. It is the nature of the A.

I am also here to say that while in the fog, WS do not feel guilt about anything. My WH still only feels he made the mistake of being physical with OW before he divorced me. Because, you see, he was in love with her, and it just made sense for him to MAKE love to her. So, his actions were not wrong.

I am thinking you might not be making decisions right now with all of the information. If this has been going on 6 years, he has probably gotten very good at his double life.

How long have you known about the EA?

Amy

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 09:27 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Stay here. Many good advice will come. I am in no position to give you any. I am very confused and hurt too. But we are all here to support each other.

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:21 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

Listen to redhat. He is the expert.

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 09:27 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:26 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

KitG, I am battling a EA for the last 2 years. There was a ONS which obviously makes it's easier for me to battle with W over. Since you have not confirmed PA it makes it easier for your H to defend his position. Bottom line it hurts you and he doesn't care because it's more important that your feelings. I didn't know what an EA was either until I got here. Anyway I have battled hard and always lose. I am now taking a new approach. Got W to agree to C with Harley. Ignoring the situation as if I don't care. But have been able to do one thing to make the relationship a lot more trouble for W. Can you think of something you can do to make it more difficult? Maybe mention your concern to a co-worker. Find a way to turn up the heat. The fact that this nonsense can go on for 6 years is very discouraging. I am resolved not to put up with it for much longer and you need to establish a time frame as well. I think when you get to the point that it either ends or you are going to leave then it may die. In other words you have to get to a position where you are in the drivers seat. He is too comfortable with you right now. I am in the very same boat. I'm too tolerant and I could kick myself for not ending this two years ago.

WOE

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 09:28 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 06, 2004, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

"Falling inlove is easy but living w/ someone that kill your dream is unbearable."

Amen, redhat.

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

<small>[ March 05, 2004, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: KitG ]</small>

Did you get any conseling? Maybe listen to their advice.