Topic says it all. He says there is noone else. He just needs time to think. I made sure he took the "saving marriage books" although I can't force him to read them. He says he'll be back in a week. I guess this is plan B? I can barely see right now because Friday morning I had laser vision correction. He took me- then that evening he took the kids to a babysitter. went to a hockey game with his co-workers and left me home alone. He never called me once to check on me. I ended up calling him twice though - the first time to let him know I was ok and that the dr called to check on me and the second time to see when he was coming home because it was 11:30pm. I wanted to see my babies or at least have them near me. He came home that night then eventually left to get a motel room. He came back Sat. morn to take me to the eye dr. Spent most the day with me and the kids then later he wanted to leave again. I told him that I couldn't take care of the kids with my eyes the way they were and if he really wanted us to be apart that i would leave - so I did. I came home this morning and we spent most the day together.He wanted to go see "The Passion" hoping it would evoke emotions in us that we both needed to feel so my parents came up to watch the kids then we left but the movie was sold out until late this evening. So we just talked calmly about all this stuff. We came home my parents left and everything was fine then he said Well, I better go finish packing. Pretty much out of the blue as I had thought things would be okay and that he wuold stay. I had his cell phone turned off yesterday. It is in my name and I am not going to supply a phone for him to talk to other girls and especially if he is not living with me. I told him he was abandoning me and the kids. My parents are finally pissed at him. They have been supportive this whole time until now. Noboday elese knows what he did except a few of my close friends and his sister and mother. Is it time to spread the word? What do I say when people call the house for him? I may have to tell my boss because I maybe missing some work this week because of this. Should I tell all my coworkers?

I think it is time for Plan B which is very nice once you get in it. All the signs are there that there is someone else.

Write your Plan B letter and post it here. We will help you out.

Get mad. Use your anger to give you strength rather than your grief that makes you weak (sometimes I hurt so bad, I found it hard to breath). I'm not saying you should use that anger to do sinful, hateful things, but to pick yourself and have some self respect (which is something we are sooooo robbed of in all of this). I am ready a book right now, I think it is called "What to do when you hear I don't love you anymore." the author's name is David Clarke. And he is a Christian Psycologist, but he takes a hard line with Adulterer...basically, no deal, no mercy, just the straight up, hard bible facts, and piss or get off the pot time. I don't know that I am necessarily a proponent of everything he suggests, but I did see some value out of the premise of using the anger of the betrayal to fuel you instead of the sorrow.

I'm definitely no expert, but it is time to go public in my opinion. You are making it too easy for him to continue, and the point is to make it hard (true to the deal in Plan A). Be kind. Try and meet EN (communicated or perceived, depending on his level of engagement with you on the subject), and then, out with the A to everyone and anyone. If he is ashamed, so be it...he should have thought about that before he did it. And if he truly one day becomes repetant, and repairs your marriage and confesses of his ways, he can be a real testimony to God's power to use sin and destruction for the betterment of other people (so perhaps, other people will be benefitted by the knowledge long term, because they will witness and be touched by the possible transformation).

Start relying on yourself only to meet your needs and try as much as you can to meet his (it was unfortunate that you had just had the eye surgery and needed his help).

He is lost. You be found!

See my post WH moving out...plan B...everyone's story starts to sound the same....my H will act like everything is fine, and then tell me he is leaving...I think it is all about keeping their options open. Well, that is no option for us!

BS, me- 31
WH- 31
Married 9 years in 2/04
Two kids, son 9 and daughter 4
10/03: Said he didn't love me anymore and began Plan A
D-day: 11/13/03
2/28/04: WH moved out to "find himself" & I started Plan B