I've been juggling back and forth since Jan. between EN forum and this one.

I think one problem with my H is he's addicted to the internet. He has a laptop, that I can't get my hands on. I know he chats online and is BIG into online video games.

My question is this, can the internet send a person into the same emotional state as someone having a PA?

If a person did have an EA/PA and the OW cut it short, how long (approx) till WS gets over it?

In short, my H came to me on 1/06 crying like a baby that we can't live together anymore (we still do) and that he was never in love with me, never was in love with me. He cried to me for 2-3 days saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I've lied to you for 15 years, I tried to be in love with you, but I never was".

H admitted to an EA that lasted 6 months, swore it never got physical. Says he still talks to the girl on occasion and I can't do a damn thing about it. I can't control him.

Redhat, if you read this. How the heck ya doing buddy?

I think an EA/internet affair should be treated the way with Plan A. You have to insist on NC and he has to prove to you that he is following NC. He should write an NC email, show it to you, and send it to OW with you present.

Then you can work on your M. You are still living together so that is good. Part of getting your M into recovery is to follow POJA and 15 hours of couple time a week, etc. His interest activity will not support that. The internet could be an addiction and/or it could lead to another EA. Just like someone who goes to a bar -- it encourages behavior that leads to an A.

If the internet is an addiction, your WS will need to get into IC. He needs to be open to doing something else with you besides online games, etc.

In either case, you will see him go through withdrawal. Fortunately, my FWS didn't suffer greatly from this, so I don't have specific info. But you should be able to find more info on this site.

Bottom line is you will have to ask him to make some changes to recover your M.

Yes, the same connections can form over the internet. People do meet and fall in love (or at least believe they are in love) on the internet all the time.

Although my W and her OM met and connected years ago the EA started and lived out entirely on the internet, w/ the exception of 1 phone call.

All of the NC rules apply. Once he agrees to NC he will probably have to give you access to his laptop so that you can verify it. Otherwise you go mad wondering what is locked on tha machine even if every other sign says the EA is over. He will likely need to give up the game. You can't spend the time together necessary to recover otherwise, those games take up a lot of time. All of this I say from experience.