Hello, If severla of you are confused then i guess you can figure out I'am too. After last nigth and the phone call from the OW I ahev found out a whole new batch of lies. Lies that H insisted didn't exist till he was caught. H and I are scared OW is serious on the threat to send these people over to beat us up and hurt us. While she was on the phone with H she said she would "try" to stop them. These thugs live out of state but are coming ehre for a visit and now they are adding beating us up to it. <BR>This is juts one more new problem. For me these past few days were leading to some sort of healing. But that was based on H saying i new everything...so my healing was based on a lie. And I ahev to start all over again. The phone call from OW depleted our lovebank and I feel empty and not sure if I even want to try. Someone else posted about "now that i ahev you do I want you" this is how i feel about H now. He is here but the lies go on and the hurt goes on. How can i heal when no one but me is honest...one of my top 5 needs too. We had a HUGE fight all night last night. Many things were said. Mostly about how I'm coping with this. H says I'm dwelling well H*ll of course I'am this just happend and i keep learning NEW lies. H says My need to talk about it often (all the time) is just a way to throw it in his face. This is not true. I always talk nicely avoid love busters and try to remain calm. But I need to talk...that is how i will get over this. He is the only one i can talk to. I can't tell my family any more then that he has come back. Trying to save face some...his and Mine. Plus they still think he never had relations with her...so they think he is still somewhat a decent guy just confused. <BR>Where from here?? Do I trust yet again??? and wait for him to lie some more? Do I wait for this B*tch to send her thugs to hurt us?? Any help is welcome.<BR>COnfusedwife<BR>PS mY skills on this computer are probably ovious i can't get it to let me send this as Confusedwife...so this is going out from my H. I assure you its Confusedwife

Confusedwife,<P>If you can get a tape recorder and record the phone calls the OW is making... it would help you both in court and as you plead to the police!... try and get one!<P>You must protect yourself fully. Is your H no concerned of the threat of physical violence<... Is there family you can go to? You and your H should take this seriously.<P>Keep posting... while you can... but again... I recommend... leaving the house for a while!<P>Jim

Jim,<P>H is concerned but OW says this guy and his friends will not be in town till friday. So going By what OW says we are safe till then. So much hinges on me remaining here at home. I'm in the process of studing for my State Licence for Nursing. I have daily review classes. I can't leave if i do I Mess up my whole future and all i have fought for. As it is this whole mess has crummy timeing. I'm at serious risk of failing my State boards and I was salutatorian. This threat we are taking serious. But would you believe us if we told you world famous wrestlers from the WWF were coming here to kick our asses...I'm sure the police will find it far fetched. To add to the stress H doesn't want me to retaliate....if they come here and threaten i owe NObody anything. Only trump card we have is ruining these peoples carears. If they come here i will call the police first then the NEWS....H got mad at me for saying this becasue he still doesn't want to hurt OW....he is finally seeing her lieing ways and how she really was a game player BUT he still wants her safe. As if she is still as incocent as me. I have closed up. H says my constant talking about it is too painful so I have No one except you guys here. I can no longer talk out my pain. Plan A involves me getting over this and working to resolution. But i can't get past the PAIN....to even try at this point. AS another tread said before i just don't BUY it that the victum has to be all loving to the betrayer. The betrayer F'd up and needs to repent some. Why do i have to constanly valadate his feelings and be all loving?? Why do I have to put him first?? I always but him first even during the phase where he was with her and coming home to sleep here. ALWAYs talked with him rationaly about it to help HIM...yet I'm still required to care more for his feelings then my own? <BR>More confused then ever and resenting it all,<BR>Confusedwife

Confusedwife:<BR>I am so sorry you have to deal with this "fatal attraction"-type stuff. Its bad enough to deal w/the affair w/just your H. To be threatened to be harmed by some WWF wrestlers takes the cake. As if you and he owe her something! <P>This type of thing angers me to no end as we had to deal w/the "scorned" OW afterward also. My H thought it was "cute" and tried to protect her from any protective measures on my part. My H did not realize how low-down dirty she was until she brought her "attack" to something that hurt HIM alone. (hurting me didn't quite get his attention!) He was paralyzed by the shock of it and I (the "strong one" as someone suggested is needed in these situations) had to take the action to stop her antics.<P>OW is running on pure emotions right now. Take her threats seriously and protect yourself. Don't expect much help from your H right now; he can't see this for what it is right now. Be strong and try to think rationally about protection. I know you're angry w/him for "causing" all of this right now, but that will take much time to work through. You don't want to live in fear of OW's threats...deal with her and her antics for YOU. Remember that although H had the affair, he did not make OW threaten you. Please try to keep that in perspective.<P>I'll pray Psalms 91 for protection for you.<P>God Bless<BR>Enlightened<P>

CW,<P>If I knew the wrestlers names I might could help.<P>I have a friend that is very close to the Undertaker and Pal Wite aka the Big Show.<P>Seriosly I have to talk to her tomorrow. Let me know and I'll see what I can Do.<P>If I were you I would have no problem suing them and ruining their carreers. You need to be safe and secure in your own home.<P>As far as OW threatening these guys beating you up I believe it is BS. My friend tells me that just about all of those Guys are family men and kittens inside. Besides I am sure they have more important things to do than take care of OWs problems. After all she is a home-wrecker.<P>But just to be safe find out there names and I'll talk to my friend. I will need to know the OW first name. You can email me if you'd like wconklin@carolina.rr.com.<P>Try not to sweat it too much, I think OW is bluffing. Those guys are not hit men, they are entertainers and they know it.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>How i would love to tell you thire names but my H is strongly Against that. I fear it will cause me problems if i OUT them here on this BB. I will disclose thire names after the crisis period. I'm sorry I know this adds to the doubts in my creditbility. BUT I'm very sure the under taker would know who i was talkign about. As for tehm being family MEN don't make me laugh. Thsi very man who is coming here to punich us has slept with my H's OW too. And yes he is married so Wrestlers are NOT familt men. That is another chip in my favor. The fact that this wrestler is coming ehre to she H's OW....I'm sure his wife doesn't know that.<P>A bit of back round is I'm 26, H is 29 and OW is 20. She has live a VERy full life. Including many many men and oviously one other wrecked marraige besides mine. H still wants to protect her. He says he thinks its all a lie....she is just tryign to hurt us ann amybe damage our recovery. Possible force him to go see her. <BR>H's job is a odd one. He is all over the tri-county area at all hours. I ahev no way to prove where he is or wheather he is at work. Last night confirmed He was seeing ehr after work but telling em his jobs were harder tehn usual and he was delayed. HOW in h*ll do I trust him NOW? The OW is here and beggin to be with him. I do not believe H will be honest if she calls or if tehy see each other. I base this on lasts nights new batch of lies just to save his image.<P>Bottom Line if it wouldn't ruin my marriage I would tell you and sick teh DOGS on these people. I will ruin thire careers if they come here I ahev no doubts about that. If I ruin my marriage becasue of it then so eb it. I'm sick of being the VICTUM!<BR>Confusedwife

hi cw, I just posted to your h's thread. Geez, this is confusing-what a mess. And at state board time no less. I feel for you. Stay focused and you will be fine-the test is not hard, uses your common sense and skills, you will be fine.<BR>I suggested that your h sit down and TALK wiht you, tell the truth, quit mucking around with half stories, answer your questions.<BR>I hope the two of you can take a few hours to do this. Before you start asking questions, thin about it carefully. Why are you asking the question? Will the answer help you heal? That is the KEY. Ask what you need to help you heal. <BR>That does not mean sexual details and I am warning you not to ask those things that will do no good and cause you pain. <BR>Both of you should make an agreement not to scream, yell, disrespect, etc during this talk. If it is too much, take a break, get a glass of wine, then resume. It is much easier to deal with when it is all on the table, no more secrets, no more bullsh**.<BR>"just the facts ma'am"<BR>(((hugs)))cl