I guess its just theraputic for me to clarify some things about last nights revelations. I dont want anyone to think that i am defending the OW in this, becauase i am actually rather hurt and angry about what i seem to be finding out. <P>When the OW called me yesterday, she santed to warm be about this friend of hers that i had also met online, who is a well known pro wrestler. She told me that he was upset, was coming to see her, and that she didnt know what he was going to do to try and find me. She also said that she was trying to stop him from coming out entirely, but that he wouldnt listen to her. There is a certain about of history between these 2 people, and i can probably understand that he would be upset if he found out that she was hurt because of me. I I immediately called some mutual friends to verify the story, and to make sure that they werent gonna give out my address or anything. I was told by my mutual friend a lo of things that didnt quite match whats the OW had said, and i started to think. Because of what she had told me friend, he thought that i had been playing some mindgames with her, and he started to come down on me for it. Oh well, the price you pay for being a betrayer, no? OK, so i gave the phone to W, and he talked to her, and told her that i wasnt being honest about everything, which i wasnt. I had been trying to minimize the scope of my meetings with the OW, and the level of intimacy we had shared. Once confronted again, i begrudgingly let the truth come out, just like a betrayer does. GOD, there is just no good was to be who i am...<P>Anyhow, there was much discussion and not all of it positive, but i did want to make clear that the wrestler's intention, *if* he ever came out; which i cannot trust in, because of the OW's lies to my friends, would only be to try and hurt me. <BR>A point of history, the OW was involved with this guy before, and he was married too. When her extended family found out about it, he received some broken fingers, and arm and a leg. JOy, look what i have to look forward too! <P>This is beyond all else, a comedy of errors, and i am the star... so excuse me if i stray from the seriousness of the situation to laugh at myself. <BR>

Think the clarifications helps all of us-cw included.<BR>Utobem, what is the honesty issue? I see it in a couple of your other posts and cw obviously sees it as an ongoing issue. <BR>You are not protecting her by withholding information. You are hurting her and the marriage more. I would imagine it is hard to tell the whole truth-my h had a hard time with disclosure too. He drug it out for weeks; oh, just was a bj, just saw her a few times, and blah and blah. It just caused everything to resurface. And you are back to square one. <BR>You asked what to do for your wife? Tell the truth, hold her, cherish her, be there for her, no matter how much pain it causes you. <BR>Protecting who? The only one it protects is you.<BR>Sit down, be calm, talk, no lovebusters. Do not get angry with her for questioning you. You can tell the truth and be gentle at the same time. I just read a couple of your posts and see you are a sensitive caring person. Show her that. Be accurate. It is imperative that you tell the truth to move the relationship into a healing phase. <BR>