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I just thought we could start a thread and talk about Plan B. Maybe if there is anyone out there that has been doing plan B and can shed some light on the feelings that I am going to have, and suggestions on things to do while in Plan B (instead of dating or looking at other men..LOL). I just started Plan B this morning and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders already. I just know this feeling isn't going to last forever though. I am sure I will go through withdrawals also, or maybe not considering that WH really hasn't been here much. Input appreciated.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
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NY, how do you feel in Plan B? I am seriously considering Plan B. I don't want to see him, i don't want to iron his clothes, i don't want to be his servant anymore. It hurts me a lot.
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Well I feel sad actually. I kind of feel like LL. Like he is just going to forget about me forever. But that is okay if he does I guess. I just started it this morning so I am not sure what to feel at this point. I am scared I guess, like I said scared that he is going to forget about me. But I needed off the rollercoaster ride big time. I thought I was gonna hurl seeing him and knowing he was with her. Now they can go make house and I don't have to see him or know about it. Not only that but with the NC thing between my S and the OW from the judge today, it will probably make his relationship even more difficult at this point. We will see what happens, the odds are stacked against them. But is hard to tell.
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Why do you need to see a judge for Plan B?
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I love Plan B. I haven't been in a great one, but good enough. I'm happy all of the time, don't miss H being around, am off the rollercoaster, can finally enjoy myself.
I used to spend 90% of my energy trying to make H happy while he was spending 90% of his energy trying to make OW happy. Now I have the energy to work on my own life, spend time with kids, and friends, and doing what I want to do.
The longer I have been in Plan B, the better my life has become. I wasted a lot of time obsessing about them.
My house is clean, my finances are doing okay. My H is having financial problems big time. OW has no where to live, but with H, or some band they met. She is not working, is away from her daughter. Actually I would rather be the BS than be in their shoes.
I never thought I would get over this, but I did.
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L&H
I didn't have to see a judge about that. I went to custody hearing today and I told the judge that my son has been acting out from his father being absent. The judge was very sincere to my request and has issued a custody order that the OW can't be around my 3 year old S for six months. This will in fact make their relationship very hard for them. His family is already disgusted with him and her, so now he will have no one but himself.
<small>[ March 05, 2004, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: HopefulinNY ]</small>
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Where is the custody hearing? I want to do the same thing.
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Lost and Hurt
I went to my local county building and filled out custody paperwork and went from there.
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How's Plan B going? Be sure to stay busy at first.
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Plan B is going really great! I emailed the pastor last night and asked for prayer, and my daughter had a friend over. We got a nintendo game cube, and I put all the work on hold and just played with them last night. I think I will be fine on Plan B. It is much better than the rollercoaster ride. In fact I might just like it forever.......
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It is great to hear that. Enjoy your time with the kids.
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L&H I hope you form some kind of a plan soon. I hate to see you just floating out there somewhere. I figure it this way. I am in a lot less pain now, so it must have been the right decision for me. I don't really have any hopes for the future with WH. But I put it in GODS hands now, he must have a plan for me and my kids. If H ever gets his head out of his [censored], maybe we could have a nice life together. If not we will have a good life without him I am sure, it won't be the same but I will still make it good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Good for you. I think you will like Plan B. The longer I have been in it, the more I appreciate it. The peace is so nice.
Now I can dedicate my energy to my boys and my life. My WH sucked up so much of my energy and resources that it is now a huge relief.
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Thanks Believer...I know I made the right choice. I feel very good about all of my decisions in my life right now including Plan B. So far everything is going my way. I am not even having withdrawals from him because my love bank was very low at the end here. I was starting to be in the red if you know what I mean?
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Yes I know exactly what you mean. The other great thing about Plan B is your expectations change, and when you no longer expect something, you don't get disappointed.
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Believer,
Thanks you are absolutely correct. Wish I had done this weeks ago. Right after our false recovery.
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Ny, you are feeling so well in Plan B. It is good for you. I am seriously thinking about it. But hard to put it in action. I have to weigh the balance between two plans.
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L&H
I am feeling good. You should get a plan and stick to it. Now that Plan B is in tact, I am able to move forward with MY life and have more fun with my kids. I also see myself as less sad with the situation at hand. Like Believer says, you don't have the disappointment in your life, because there is no expectations. Only what you set for yourself. You can't control other people and their doings. But YOU can control YOU. That is what you have to learn to do. This is what I am learning now. I am in here somewhere, I just lost myself for a while. I am slowly coming out of my shell. I am going to start IC again this week and hopefully I will feel even better yet and my children will benefit from this also. I am also going to start them in counseling.
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NY, I think I may do it. I will talk to in laws tonight.
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