Redhat, Redhat where have you been? How are you BTW?

Did you read the part in the post where I said I was already fiery. Now you're trying to send me into spontaneous combustion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I know you aren't trying to do anything. You are giving your insight. However a lot is going on with me right now and everything seems a little sensitive.

From your post you are saying do one thing or the other. I found that trying to adhere to this before gave me problems with my M and my H and boundary setting, that I wasn't prepared to handle.

What does that mean? I treated my H as I should've trying to meet ENs and trying to negotiate for NC and trying, trying, tryng. I'll admit you know my history and LBing was a problem. But I dealt with that too.

After the dust settled and I decided to pick up my bullet tattered cowgirl vest and chaps I found that yes I was still standing but what did I come away with? A M that refused to break up an A until all you know what practically broke lose. The stress of dealing with this issue. Trying to chase and pick up the tiny amounts of dignity for myself that was left in bits and pieces rolling in the tumbleweeds of this dry, dusty situation (well as it was at the time).

I'm not saying MB concepts do not work. Indeed they do but I still feel that one has to tailor their program and make their own choices. As you know Redhat I respect you opinion because you have help me alot though I haven't heard from you lately. But black and white mindsets just don't appeal much to me at this time or shall I say that they don't seem to give me enough room to make other choices.

You have however inspired me to go back and look at over some things.

Thanks. Have a good one.

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: freetobe ]</small>

free2b,

I am not RH but if you keep posting his name....'he will come.' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Maybe if you take a look at your situation from another angle. Try working to put your mind and heart in sync then move forward with identifying your boundaries and enforcing them.

This all takes time. I often recommend the BS pray for a clear mind and a calm heart.

Hope you aren't too disappointed. I will try and check back tomorrow. If RH has posted by end of day tomorrow, I will call him for you, ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Orchid thank you for your post and offer to call RH. I'm not in a rush so it is ok for him to post whenever is convient.

Have a good one.

freetobe,

I don't mean to ignite you. I just try to point out that if you want to change the plan A/B you have to get coaching directly from MB. Otherwise you are in danger of misapplying plan A.

I am good. I have changes in my life but I think it is for the better. I am excited.

You have my yahoo IM-id you could reach me most of late night unless I go out w/ my friend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

-rh-

Indeed they do but I still feel that one has to tailor their program and make their own choices.
Steve Harley told me directly (and Dr Harley said on the radio) that Plan A/B are NOT to be "tailored". Either you are doing it or not.
Also, if you are going to do Plan B you SHOULD get professional help. Too many people think it's a simple "homebrew" plan that just cuts off communication. It's not.

<small>[ March 12, 2004, 03:14 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Hi RH.

After just reading your post I tried to yahoo IM you but I saw you weren't out there. Glad to hear you are doing good.

I know you meant no harm to me in your post. I was rather sensitive at the time. So I apologize if I came off offensively.

I had a chat with awed. This actually helped me a great deal. For me this has been a difficult road but I realize that much of the difficulty was with me. Also after brewing in some of the flashbacks I found my attittude was much less resilient toward trying to tough it out.

Anyway I am taking the time now to think things over and get my perspective in check. I think I felt some regret and upset that I made some of the sacrifices that I've made. But I realize that I made those choices so now isn't time to go back and make anger with all that has happened but instead to try to move ahead. Nor is it time to take on an attitude of a "stiff neck" to coerce H to do what I think he should do. I'm getting there. It is a process.

Thanks for your post. Have a good weekend.

<small>[ March 12, 2004, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: freetobe ]</small>

Yes, I was busy yesterday ... I went out w/ my female freind to see Cavalia then we chat 'till morning.

I am glad you get help from awed. Plan A is tough and you have to monitor your own LU$. There is a threshold that you are the only one know ... when you reach that treshold you have to go plan B.

-rh-