Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
WS is out of our house 2 weeks ago - I bought her out and kept the house.
I have emailed the Plan B letter about a week ago. No response and there has been no contact since then.
There are still some small loose ends dangling (nothing major) that we are both aware of ie. deciding who get what pictures/ photo albums that are at the house, some of her stuff still at the house etc.
Should I contact her about this?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995 |
HRB
Welcome to the board. I am not an expert as I have blown Plan B myself already. I just wanted to say Hi. If you wait around for a while someone with some expertise will give you some advice. We are here for you so keep on posting.
NY
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 509
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 509 |
While I am no expert...
Plan B means NO contact.
I am assuming that your plan B letter included the terms at which contact can resume. (NC w/OP, willingness to restore marriage, etc.) If you contact for the reasons you state, you would trivialize your plan B.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
A couple of snips from the letter:
'I feel right now that it’s probably best that we not contact each other and that we not see each other unless it is an emergency.'
I know this is probably your choice as well and any contact with you while your involved just hurts.
If your feelings of us should change and you are no longer involved, I would love to talk.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
A couple of snips from the letter:
'I feel right now that it’s best that we not contact each other and that we not see each other unless it is an emergency.'...
I know this is probably your choice as well and any contact with you while you're involved just hurts......
If your feelings of us should change and you are no longer involved, I would love to talk.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
There are still some small loose ends dangling (nothing major) that we are both aware of ie. deciding who get what pictures/ photo albums that are at the house, some of her stuff still at the house etc.
So leave it at the house. She is not interested in picking it up.
Should I contact her about this?
Why?
No-contact means no-contact.
'I feel right now that it’s best that we not contact each other and that we not see each other unless it is an emergency.'...
I know this is probably your choice as well and any contact with you while you're involved just hurts......
If your feelings of us should change and you are no longer involved, I would love to talk.
This seems kind of wishy-washy for a Plan B letter.
Could you post the entire letter?
<small>[ March 16, 2004, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
Chris
I don't know if posting the letter will do any good now since it's gone already and its' at work
If it will be of help I can post it tomorrow.
I did include points like
I love you
I know what things that I could have done better in our marriage and I will take this going forward.
But how you handled our break up with the lies and your affair was terrible and its' runing my love for you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
Need some assitance re: WS's family during Plan B.
I want to remain in contact and keep in touch, they have been part of my life for the last 12 years, they live just down the road, 5 minutes away and WS's daughter now 22 from a previous marriage lives there in the grandparents basement apartment.
It seems now that WS has moved out with OM (another WS) and since I have given the Plan B letter, I have been getting the cold shoulder from her family.
Do I just give them time - I know blood is thicker than mud.
Thanks
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Do I just give them time - I know blood is thicker than mud.
Not necessarily.
They are adjusting to all of this too so it'll take time.
Remember that you should not "blame" your ws except for what it is. She had an affair and does not (seem to want) to reconcile.
Don't bad mouth her to them or else you will be cutting yourself off from them.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
Hey Chris
I'm not looking to bad mouth the spouse to the family or even ask for support, I'll I was interested in was saying hello seeing if the daughter got accepted to the school she was applying for and maybe have her and her boyfriend over for dinner some time, that kind of stuff..... Maybe they think that's what my intentions are - to bad mouth her.
Did you still want me to post the entire Plan B letter? I know you asked earlier in this chain.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
1,461
guests, and
108
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
