I posted on here back in May. First off my H has never admitted to me about the affair, they are only good friends (yeah right) when he was found out we went to counseling and things were going great for 2 months then we lost our house to foreclosure and moved to a rental. Things we downhill from there. During all of this he was diagnosed with manic depression which he did get on meds but it was a bumpy road. In the end he I think never stopped talking with the OW (she is married too and has baby) he worked with her. When things got bad he turned to her I know. He went to MC one time again and ended it there. Then I broke into my email and found out he was talking to another girl!OMG I went ballistic. I thought this is girl #2.M y parents paid for me to move from AZ to VA. I wanted to save things but he he was just off on his own world and moved in with his parents. Ok so in Jan he finally said there was only one girl and it was the same all along. Then about a month after that he said he wanted to come back to me and move here if I would have him. I love him so I agreed and as long as he didnt lie to me anymore we could work on it. I bought him a plane ticked to see me last week. He called 2 days before coming and said he had court with his exwife, in the end, I confirmed with the courts that he didnt. He got mad and angry I didnt trust him. Obviously he had other "business" to tend to. I thought I would die all over again. I truly was starting to trust him and wanted this to work. He still is saying he had court and that he wasn't with anyone else. I have asked him to come clean and just tell me the truth but he hasn't.

Here is the deal should I try to Plan A again??? Should I just move on to Plan B after what he did last week. I am trying to rent a house and move forward. How will I ever trust him again now, I don't know an I dont understand why he holds on to me while we are so many states apart when he could go on about his business have his A and wont have to worry about me.

Angel,

After reading all these posts, and going through my WH's A, I come to the conclsion that these WS are someone we don't understand. They even don't know what they are doing, how can we. Stop analyzing what he does and says. Come up with a plan and stick to it. I am in no position to help you with a plan, but experts will come. hang in here.

Thank you so much for posting. I feel alone out here.

Angel, you are not alone. Everybody is here for you.

Yes, hang in there, I am new here, so can't offer you too much advise, just exposed it a week ago...so the pain and shame are fresh...I have read some good stuff on this site, so read while you wait.

Angel,

I would not advice you to go to plan A or plan B but I would sugest you to take a few steps back and re-evaluate you and him aside from R & M. At the end probably it would help you to decide.

What are the primary reason you stick with this man ?. What is missing in your life that he filled in ?. Don't tell me it is love! Love is a choice and why you choose this ?.

Why he did what he does ?. What is missing in his life that he needs to fill in by many OWs ?. Low selfesteem ? unresolve past history ?

Based on the answers above, you decide if he could be help and if you are willing to work on it. There is no gurantee but as you know that both of you have to live together and NC w/ any OW and be accountable on his time, $, and any of his email/v-mail.

Rule of thumb ... if you have done plan A, then plan B ... you don't go back to plan A again. There are cases that BS has to go to plan A b/c of spotty plan A before or WS is weak and need really help to break the A. However I suggest you to contact MB to get counseling. There is no way that we could advice you since we are not trained and also the info that we could gather is too limited.

-rh-

Thank you for responding everyone!

I did expose the A to his parents, my parents, his exwife, whoever. I can't locate a phone number to expose it OW's H. But of course my H denies anything physical happened.

I guess he wasn't really meeting many of my needs in the end as well but I never looked else where. I loved him to much and well I just would never do that.

I guess to do need to re-evaluate the situation based on facts and not emotions but that is so very hard for me. The many things he has going against him right now in not being able to carry on the A or A's is he is broke, bartending, way behind on child support from his first marriage, living with his paernts and his younger siblings and well as far as I know the last OW is still with her H. I am not sure if there is a new girl now or not.

What I am doing is this, I am working hard on saving all I can and working on finding a place to live and move forward as far as that is concerned. My H was ready to get in his car and drive here 2 months ago but no way would my parents allow him to live there with us so I told him we will wait save money and get a place and as soon as that happens to come. I think in the meantime he must of resummed contact with someone else or meet someone else. All the while calling me all the time emailing me etc and telling me he couldnt wait to see me. That I do not get at all!