Spent three months in Plan A. I've done everything I can to make our marraige an attractive alternative to her affair. Last Monday I confirmed that she is still seriously in an emotional affair with occasional physical/sexual contact. She says she is very confused and just can't figure out what to do. At that point I told her that we should spend some time apart. I mostly decided this because I have felt like I am just facilitating their affair by continuing to provide most of her wants/needs but allowing her to still get the rest from the OM. She won't give me a chance to fulfill the needs he has been meeting.

She has stayed at a hotel, but we saw each other a few times this week, talked on the phone and went to therapy together (Plan A and 1/2?). I thought this week was a big step forward for us.

I'm out of town this weekend, heading home tomorrow. On phone with wife tonight she tells me she is really horny and wants to be with me tomorrow when I get back. Sex was (she has said) a big reason for the affair - she was having passionate, "risky" sex in the office with this OM. So my question is, should I continue trying to make our relationship attractive to her and go home tomorrow and spend the day in bed with her? Or do I not do that to try to reinforce that she can't have the best of both worlds with both of us? I'm also a little nervous that if she doesn't get satisfaction with me, she will get it from him,

Help!

I would, only if that what feels right to you. If you are thinking about these fears, which is natural, be sure it won't end up hurting you more in the end.

WS fog talk is so confusing, you never really know what the heck they really want. They don't even know.

What you could do, is try to fill that need in a new way. If your fear is not satisfying her, and her straying again to OM, find out WHAT will satisfy her. Maybe this was an issue and you weren't aware of it ?

My final thought, if it feels right, FOR YOU... then put it out there.

Good Luck with your decision.