My WH is furious with me right now because (in his opinion) I did not make a good impression on a couple of his coworkers today.

We both attended one of our daughter's activities today. I was taking the daughter who needed to be there and who did NOT want her father there - did not know he would show up and hang around.

The last time I had a (phone) conversation that was not strictly about visitation/finances he said some really hateful and cruel things to me (and of course hasn't apologized). So I wasn't exactly planning on putting on a happy family show anyway. Not that I was *****y or anything - just kept my distance and hung out with my friends and daughters rather than acting as if I was there with him (which I wasn't).

One of his coworkers I had met before but only a few times and not recently. Actually SHE had always treated me rather coldly when I met her in the past (for a while I was even worried maybe he was having an affair with her because she acted so strangely when around me). The other coworker I never met before. WH complains that I 'had a long face' and only acted like I was having fun when talking to my friends (?). He says I embarrassed him in front of his friends (who virtually ignored me anyway even though I went up to the female coworker to say hi to her and ask her if she remembered me - hadn't seen her in years). The male coworker my husband introduced me to but I had zero chance to chat with him because he was walking away.

I wish I had known my husband's coworkers more because it would have been a lot harder for him to lead a secret 2nd life and have an affair with a coworker. But my husband had almost a 1 hour commute to work and claimed the company rarely had picnics/parties with families invited (I found out that was a lie).

So anyway he was apparently expecting me to put on some sort of 'everything is OK between us' show today! I was civil, didn't cry or make a scene, was there for my daughters, enjoyed seeing my friends. AND I was volunteering at the bake sale booth too (with my friends) so I had a pretty good excuse to not hang out with him and his friends (besides being in plan B).

AND I have no idea how close these coworkers are with the OW or what my husband has told them about me, our separation, the affair, etc. So I think I behaved remarkably well considering the situation! PLUS this was the first time I have had to be in the presence of my WH in a long time and he gave me no choice or time to prepare myself for it.

I am definitely having an 'he is such an insensitive jerk so why do I want him back?' moment LOL

I probably should add that I used to post here (months ago) under a different name (which I can't remember). My WH recently bought us a new computer to replace the broken one (just surprised us with it!) I really needed and appreciated the adice I got when I used to post here. Thank God I wrote down LOTS of notes, do's & don't's, etc. from here before my computer died! I referred to it almost daily when I couldn't get online. Unfortunately FOLLOWING the advice has been very difficult to do. And each time I slipped out of plan B believe me I regretted it. I can't tell you how many times I had to remind myself that somebody here (I think redhat) warned me to 'go dark - night vision dark' LOL to retreat from WH's emotional abuse and set boundaries.

Anyway, back to WH's latest excuse to 'hate me and never come home', complaining I didn't act cheerful enough in front of his coworkers. Evidently he showed up at daughters activity yesterday with some expectation that things had changed between us? (Or that I was to at least pretend that?) He had shown up (against daughters' wishes) at the last three events too. But he stayed far away from us and I only knew he was there after the fact because friends had spotted him or his car there and he'd tell me later he'd been there. This time was different because on of our daughters had decided to resume visitation with him and was spending the day with him. They came together and were very open so of course my other daughter and I saw them and chatted a little with them.

Also, a little background info regarding his coworkers: WH has told me repeatedly he can never come home because he wouldn't know how to explain to his family AND coworkers why he would come back to me... Plus his affair was with a coworker and I don't know if the coworkers who were there yesterday are friends of hers.

I'm wondering if maybe he was so angry because he's embarrassed it may get back to the OW that even though their affair has ended I don't act as if I want him back either? I had heard from some of his relatives and coworkers that I had supposedly prevented him from seeing our daughters and was trying to 'force' him to come back to me (more lies). So maybe it would be hard for him to explain how he was there WITH a daughter but not being 'forced' to hang out with me?

weirdness

In all honesty, I do get pretty angry about this sometimes but it always comes back to mostly just feeling sorry for him. What a sick mess he's gotten himself into this time. He's trying to find some way to unravel it all BUT mostly worrying about how to save face and not have people realize he was lying.

Sometimes I wonder if exposing the affair to friends and family hender them wanting to return because of the embarrasment they have to face up to by the BS's family and friends. My H wanted to move here where I am at and because I am still living with parents I told him that it wouldn't be a good idea. I should of just told him then to pack up and come and we would figure something out.

Yeah, you would think if they cared so much about what other people think they would never do anything they shouldn't be doing! My WH used to say how much he despised the fact that his father cheated on his mother and there he was doing the same thing. What an idiot!