M

That made me chuckle. It just goes to show you what a little anger can do, it can go a long way. Esp. with affairs of the heart. I let my WH come here on Wed. to visit our S, but I leave the house and let my mom do the switching with WH. Now he isn't allowed to use the house either though. I feel like he was still getting his fix by coming here. He was reading my stuff and eating my food, trying to fix things and stuff like that. I want him to know what it is going to be like when we D, and he has no home at all to come to once a week. So I am in the full Plan B now. I am not even talking to his parents because they stabbed me in the back. I thought they were going to help me with this, turns out blood is thicker than water as they say.

Too bad for their grandchildren right? It is a difficult journey, and sometimes I think it is like when I quit smoking. I have come so far now that I would never go back to that. I don't even think I want him back most days, then other days I do. Mostly I don't, I never realized how ugly he made my days when he was here, until he was gone. The lack of affection and the lack of love. I have been alone for 7 years and I never even knew it. Having sex once a week doesn't meet all the EN in a marriage, esp. the wham bam thank you maam kind like he was giving.

I am thinking that there are better fish, with nicer scales out there somewhere. But I have a long way to go with the pain before I go fishing.

Keep plugging away and do your best.

NY

NY, you seem to be so much stronger than I.

Everytime I think about dating I want to barf?

M, How is your 2nd day? Hope you do well.

Thanks for asking.

2nd day....Too much thinking going on in my head.

Wondering what he's thinking, IS THIS BOTHERING HIM?

I am weighing my options.

1 he gave me was that we live together in the house, finances stay the same, lead seperate lives.

I don't understand how that'll work.

M

If you have read all the stuff on this site, that option would be called having your cake and eating it too. It sounds glorious, but do you really want your husband living with you and sleeping with someone else everynight. NO! And do you want your kids to think this is how a marriage should be conducted? NO!

I did this for six weeks in Plan A, it was hell. I would never ever have three people in my marriage again. It is 2 or none. I hate thinking about dating also. I have been married since I was 19. But, I am just so lonely, I have no single friends and I bug them all. They can't even stand to hear my H's name anymore. Neither can my family. So I started IC, so I can talk my head off about him.

Keep your chin up. Try to have fun with your kids. That is about all I can say. It will get harder, and then better. It will go back and forth for months on end. Plan B takes a strong person. If your not strong enough you will end up like Lordslady. She is a wonderful person, but if you read her threads, she was not strong enough for Plan B. She will even tell you that she regrets it now, because she is in so much pain herself. Call out to her and ask her, or read her threads. It is all or nothing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

NY

NY,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have been married since I was 19. But, I am just so lonely, I have no single friends and I bug them all. They can't even stand to hear my H's name anymore. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know, I'm NOT in Plan B (because I blew it) so am in some custom-modified plan. I just wanted to tell you it's good to know I'm not the only one out here who feels this way. I've been married since 19 also (to my WH).

I have only one single friend whom I work with, and we're completely opposite in what we like to do, so the only time I talk to anyone is at work. And they're sick to death of hearing about my WH and my M. They are biting their tongues for the most part and I think they'll have a party if I finally file for D someday.

I have posted so much on here I sometimes feel like I drive this forum nuts! It is lonely, because even though I'm not in Plan B, I rarely see my WH since he has his own place and if I do, it's only for a few minutes.

LL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by m01069:
<strong> Tonight my mom is picking up the kids and bringing them to her house where my H will spend some time with them but this can't be my permanent situation. I can't be relying on my mother like that, it's not fair.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not it is not permanent ... until he comes home and end his A and put NC ... or either one of you file for Dv and visitation could be revisited.

-rh-

Hey Redhat, where ya been? How ya been?

Well, I called my mom's house and said I would be there in 15 minutes. (I had emailed my H and asked him to leave prior to my arrival).

I got there and H was still there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

He didn't even look up at me or say Hi and worst part is he has taken his wedding ring off <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

His hand looked so strange without it on, that crushed me.

I want to call him and ask one more time for us to go to counseling. The way I look at it is either we could make our M work that way, or maybe I too could come to the decision that it won't work.

Should I call him and word it that way?

Don't call him. You will come out looking needy. Stay in Plan B. That is what will help your marriage.

m01069,

You have said enough on plan B letter ... the only way you would break the plan B if H willing to work on M.

H will try to sabotage and look distraught and be a victim ... in a matter of fact you are the victim.

I am fine. I am on the market <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ... no taker yet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> . However I have partners in crime to go out with. I will take it easy ... I remember "falling in love is easy but living with someone that kills your dream (happiness) is unbearable". Aside from knowing her inside out, even more than herself, I will make sure that I am capable to fillin her ENs and for her to learn to fillin mine.

-rh-