Angel,
I read some of your posts and believe me, if my spouse came to this forum, he would think I am you!!
Don't despair, sweetie. My WH FORCED me to Plan B. It was the only way I could stop hurting by his lies. Here are some suggestions for you if you are feeling blue and listless:
1. Pray (If you are a believer. Tell Him everything. Ask Him to heal you, your H and your marriage).
2. Read. Read lots and understand what you are going through. You are not alone. Whether your M works out or not, make sure you become a better person. When you do that, even if your relationship with H doesn't work out, your relationship with your friends, family and colleagues will improve.
3. Seek support from friends and family. If you feel lonely and down, ask if you can go home to mom's or your best friend and stay for a couple of days, just to be around people who love you. Recipocrate their care and love by doing things together; cooking, shopping, cleaning, these activities makes you feel happy and appreciated. If you can't stay, spend most of the day with them anyway. You don't have to talk about your unhappy situation when you are with them. My family and friends already know my problems. It has gotten to a stage where I find it unhealthy to dwell on the same issues over and over again. So I just hang out at friends or family till I feel better.
4. Pamper yourself. Shopping is my favourite, I give myself gifts that he never gave me. There's only me to love me now and I love me lots. I've bought myself some really lovely jewelry, some nice feminine clothes, shoes, new lipsticks and other vain things. I did too little of this when I was with WH. I owe it to me.
5. Keep busy. Make your house nice and homey (if he happens to come over, he'll miss you and the comfort your home offers), join a gym or go walking in the park, breathe fresh air and smile at people always give me a lift. Besides, the exercise keeps your body toned for the new clothes you've bought!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> If you like animals, volunteer at the SPCA, or the orphanage if you like children. Doing things for others makes you feel appreciated, that's what us BS lack, appreciation from WS!!
6. Take care of your health. A healthy body handles negative emotions better than a weak body. I take supplements and my complexion now is better than it was the past four years. Although I feel lousy, I don't look it (esp with make-up... don't forget to get new lipstick and blusher). Sleep well. Don't fret over things you can't control.
Don't call him. He's an adult. He'll be alright. You don't want him to think you are being needy and being a pest. That's what my WH thought I was when I called him too often. That remark got me really angry. Do things for yourself during this time. You'll grow and you'll glow and he'll see what's he's missing. The best revenge is to make yourself so good, wholesome and attractive, he'll regret ever leaving you.
Take care, you must become your own Angel. R
