Last night, WH was supposed to call me back and he never did. I went to sleep but woke-up around midnight and called him. He said he forgot to call me back.
I told him that I really was getting used to being separated. He said “Well, I’m starting to have second thoughts on the separation”.

I hesitate to tell this to anyone because I know how his feelings can change from one minute to the next, but I think he may be starting to come around. I’m not sure why, but….

I also have started to have a sense of peace through all of this (just since last night). It must be the counseling, the medicine, and the prayers. But what I have learned is that I cannot control WH. There is nothing I can say or do to make him change or do what I want him to do. I have just given it all to God and it has created a sense of peace in my heart and my mind.

MO, I read your post to me. I know how these little hope creep in your mind.

I am not controlling. THat is what he thought. I told him I want our M to work out, and I don't want him to move out. But I can not control him, if he wants to, it is his decision. But we need to work out an arrangement. Kids and I will be waiting for him to come home. I hope that is not controlling. I am trying to learn how to be understanding and sympathatic too.

LNH,
Well, I guess I didn't mean controlling as in telling him what to do and when and where but more in the sense of not letting him do what he's going to do. I am just trying to say that there is nothing you can say or do that is gonna make him stop and go "you know, you're exactly right. I'm coming home, I am selfish and immature". He's going to do what HE wants because that is all he cares about right now. Letting him know that you are there for him when he's ready to return is fine but I wouldn't tell him that everyday. Tell him once and drop it. I only say this because I was telling my WH everyday "I want you to come home, I love you, I want to work on our marriage". It wasn't working. It wasn't making him come home. It wasn't convincing him to work it out with me. It only pushed him further away. When I stopped, I felt better because I didn't feel the pain of rejection everytime I said those words. I just decided that I can't control what he does and right now his wishes aren't what mine are and that I have to accept that and give it to God. It has put me out of my misery. I'm just trying to give you advice that has helped me - hoping that it can help you feel better too. I looked at the website www.stopyourdivorce.com to get some of these same ideas. Check it out if you can. Good luck and no hard feelings okay?

MO, no hard feeling at all. I do appreciate everything you said. I do, I am here so hungry to take all the advice.

You know what, the website you gave me was the first one I ever visited since D-day. I was desperate to find a way. I paid $50 to purchase his book and I read it million of times. But I found MB, it has more detail and techniques. I still have it by my bed. I still apply some of the technique.

LNH,
Good. I haven't read the book, just saw the website and thought some of the principles sound good. Just keep hanging on. We are all here for you.