Please respond to this post. I am once again asking for feedback because i am trying to get my WH to go to San Fran. to the MB forum with W. Harley.
I am in plan A as a result of counseling with S.H. and although I know H is still in touch with OW who lives in another state now, S. Harley believes that even exposure to the MB concepts might strike a chord with my H and allow him the opportunity to realize that there is a different way to approach M other than the "I need to control you, or you will control me" philosophy.
Have any of you attended? What was/is your M challenge? What was resolved? Any positive results?
My H has been very much a home body since OW has moved away.But, my world has been even crazier since she's been gone because of his varied threats to me.
Not only do I have the OW challenge(there actually have been several throughout our M) but I am married to someone who is afraid of being controlled and afraid of growing older. I am 47 H is 46. We have two children.
A-He is pressuring me to sign for a mortgage on our house so that he can get a $300,000.00 loan to begin a new business which he will not tell me about. (Mortgage paid off when my parents died with money from their estate) Home is in both our names.
B-Has threatend that the new business he wants to open will hurt someone's feelings (i.e., my brother who he will not speak to at all) He is angry at my brothr for a few reasons, the most significant is that I told my B about My H's affair that took him( and his OW to NY on a vacation).
C-Has threatend to move out of the building my brother and I own jointly and close his dental practice. (with which he is very successful)
D- Has threatend to destroy the business left to my brother and me by our paretnts if I don't divide and seperate it and buy out my brother's half.
I have told him on numerous occasions that I don't want to do anything until our lives get on track. I have told him that his lifestyle is not accepatable to me. etc. etc. He has forced my brother and me to divest some other properties left to us by my parents which we have done to appease him. (H wants it all to go into our children's names) But, he has said that regardless of his lifestyle, he would never leave (i.e., "divorce") me, but the division of the business MUST take place as well as the division of the properties.
Most recently he made plans for our family (he and I and our two children) to go to Europe for a few weeks in summer. He did not even consult me and when he did he said, "well if you don't want to go, I'll take the kids".
Most recently, he has made plans for San Fran. but says that he wants to take drugs or get drunk before seminar.!!!
You may ask, why do I stay? Somewhere down deep inside, I know there is a nice person within trying to get out! He can be wonderful. Is it only when I give in to his requests?
I am so tired of living this offbalance life. Not knowing how to plan for the future. I keep praying that God will enlighten him.
Any insights welcomed.
