I have been in Plan B for about 7 weeks now but have had to break it this last 2 weeks as my FIL was very ill and has now passed away. As I am close to my MIL I have been supporting her a great deal and had to contact my WH to discuss family issues and decisions. My FIL died last night and I had to phone my WH to tell him. I then saw him today and we hugged for a long time (he even cried). OW has not been at any of these family gatherings as MIL will not entertain it. So all in all I have spent every other day with him and other family members. I wonder what OW makes of this, unable to be part of the family at this sad time. OW will not (or I hope) be at the funeral as I said MIL would be very upset. Do you think they will survive this? I am doing well in Plan B but now find I do not need to not be in the dark as I do not have any feelings left for my WH only sadness because of his dad. What do I do now?

I don't have much advie to offer, but I will send you lots of love and hug.

thanks Lost I guess I dont really have a question but just confused not with my feelings but what will happen next. I feel there is calm before the storm if you see what I mean. My intuition is kicking in and I feel that something is about to happen

I had the same feeling before. Any our intuition is always right. So be prepared, look upon the LORD. Put our trust and faith on HIM.

Actually that is what I am feeling now. Let's hang in together to go through this turmoil.

LNH

I pray a lot most of the time anyway but he must be getting fed up with me at the moment as I am praying almost all the time trusting in the lord to know what he has planned for me. I am sure that this has all happened for a reason but we don't know why and what for yet. I am just waiting for it to bash me right in the face and hope that I am strong enough to take it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

My WH is having the children overnight tomorrow for the first time and because he lives with OW she will be there too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I guess this could be a reason why I am anxious but who knows we go through so much us BS that I don't know how I feel most of the time. I do know that most of the time I am shut off and feel like an icequeen. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Feelingit

You are not alone, I spent almost the whole day with WH. He took the snow fence down and finished all the railings today. He ate lunch with us, and I cut his hair after he was all done working. I also felt nothing. I feel like there is something wrong with me now. I am the icequeen also. I was nice and pleasant. I didn't feel hostile or mad, judgemental or angry or sad. I just didn't feel anything. I asked him if he was having Easter with his mom and he said yes. That was really all we said to each other.

It feels rather strange being around someone that you were married to for so long and have no feelings for anymore. I wonder where they went, I am also wondering if this is the calm before the storm.

I meditated today and I asked the Lord what has happened to me? Where am I? Where are my feelings? I am sure something will come to me in time, but right now I am very happy with my life by myself with my kids. I am not in pain and that is all that matters to me. I hoping to go back to no contact now that all this work is done. It was better that way, but I am doing great inspite of the contact we have had. I hope you are feeling good too!

NY

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by feelingit:
<strong> My FIL died last night and I had to phone my WH to tell him. I then saw him today and we hugged for a long time. I am doing well in Plan B but now find I do not need to not be in the dark as I do not have any feelings left for my WH only sadness because of his dad. What do I do now? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Feelingit,
I think even Harley's say you can break Plan B for family emergencies. I think this qualifies as an emergency!

In the meantime, be as supportive for your in-laws as you feel. Be as close to your H as you feel. OW can do whatever she wants! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> This is NOT her territory, and I wouldn't even waste ONE BRAIN CELL "worrying" about what she will or wont' do. Most likely, she will try to push her way into things, as she will feel she can't TRUST him to be this close to you (ironic, isn't it?)

As you have said, GOD IS IN CONTROL, and if she interferes at this time, it will have ramifications w/him and FOO - so YOU won't look like the "bad guy."

I would wait till all this is over, and everyone is kind of back on an even keel, then go dark again! If he wonders what the he&* happened? Just refer him back to the Plan B letter.

it is important at this time to BE THERE as a family unit (which YOU ARE!!) for your in-laws, your H (IN HIS FOGGY state!!), and for your children.

You're doing good, girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God Bless,

don't have the answer to your question but as others has said God does. We just need to continue to be patient and strong until the answers are revealed to us. I am sorry for the loss of your FIL, you can't be apart of a family for years and not feel anything. Be the way that you think God would have you behave. Even if you are in plan B i still think it wouldn't hurt to get counseling or continue counseling, whatever may be the case. prayers to you and yours.

Thanks guys for your continued support. I guess I must be on a rollercoaster of emotions myself right now because just as I deal with one problem another seems to crop up. Guys take a look at my other post about my children.

God bless to you all