I feel ready to jump into Plan B with both feet but we have children. The temporary custody order lets me have them the first 6 weeks of their summer vacation which starts next week but she gets every other weekend and we have to make the exchange. I am helping coach my oldest sons baseball team and WW will be at the games. We live in a small town (population 6,000) and there just dosen't seem to be any escaping her. I would love to send her a PBL and have NC til she is ready to work things out but I can't imagine how it would be possible. Any suggestions?

deafjeff,

Don't talk to her
Don't try to look at her direction
Don't try to contact her

Stay within NC.

-rh-

Jeff,

is there someone who can act as intermediary between you and your W? this would help ease the strain and improve your Plan B...

as redhat says, N/C is vital to a successful Plan B...

it might be worth popping on over here link to forum and posting your questions...this forum has a lot of experienced Plan B'ers that may be able to offer useful suggestions to you...

best of luck...stay strong...awed

I have Plan B'ing with kids (I think most posters here have kids). I do think it makes it tricky though. IMO the WS's exploit the kids to try to get to talk to and see the BS, to keep them in their lives. You have to make sure you notify the WS of info about the kids (their schedule of activities, any injuries, etc.) That can be done through your intermediary. In my case, since my kids are older, they can communicate directly with him. I don't send messages through the kids - just have them talk directly to their dad about visitation, money they need from him for extra things they want, activities they want to invite him to. If I have to communicate something to WH I do it in writing (haven't found an intermediary) and keep it to the point and not about relationship stuff (marriage or affair). If we both attend one of kids' activities it angers him that I ignore him but he better start getting used to it. He insists that we should be able to divorce and still be friends.... even thinks he should get to hang out in my home with us and for me to come along with kids' visitation... DELUSIONAL!

I made arrangements for the kids to be picked up and dropped off at mutual friend's home early in the separation (WH was violent so I got a restraining order). But now he picks up younger daughter at my home (but doesn't come inside). Two olders daughters are refusing to go on visitation with him.

I think the way most posters here do it is to just go through the intermediary as much as possible and when they do have to see or talk to the WS they keep it brief and only about practical, absolutely necessary to discuss topics (finances/kids). When you have to be at each other's residences to exchange kids don't go inside the WS's home or invite the WS into your home. Just exchange the kids outside or at the door.