Hello All,

Gave PBL to WW on May 15. Since then she has tried to make contact with me at least once a week. Last week, when I was outside she pulled up and I looked at the car and went into the house. WW had come to pick up youngest son. This week she calls from cell and asks me to pick up our son. She said she was on her way to play cards <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I did not answer the phone, just let the answer machine (screen) get it. Our son then called me later and I answered and agreeded to pick him up.

Is it right for me to do this favor for her, picking up our son, when she is going to play cards? The next time I feel like not doing so.

It has been 3 weeks and I feel like it's time for the "D" to happen. Is this to early? Longer? I so, how long? Or is PB like PA, you just know when it's time?

BNL called me yesterday. He thinks I should quit paying for car, health & dental insurances for WW. Currently I have my pay checks going to another bank. Not our joint account. $$$$ is a big EN for WW. I think it is a good for me to stop paying for the above but, would this send a message to her that I want a D, our just give WW a good taste of what D would be like?

Thanks for any input!
r

I'm not an expert on Plan B, but I believe you are supposed to stop the financial support. Hey, she has to get a taste of what life will be like without you. It's okay if she feels that you want a divorce. Plan B is to shake her out of the A -- to feel the consequences of her actions. I believe a Plan B should go for 6 months. Anyways, that's what I was planning, because at this point, you are waiting for the A to die a natural death. Let her spend all her time with OM. She will find out that no one is perfect and she will find out that she had it better with you.
And no, you shouldn't be doing favors for her, either. Determine a set schedule for child care and when she needs someone to pick up your son, she will have to arrange it.

EI,

I think you have plan B wrong. Plan B is to protect your love bank while giving the affair longer to end. Harley points out that most affairs end, it is a matter of time. So if the BS wants to save the marriage, then it is a matter of waiting it out.

However, in Plan A with contact the waiting can easily empty the love bank before the A ends, so plan B is set up to slow the withdrawals. When you wake up and and realize you no longer love or like the woman you are married to, then it is probably time for the D.

You see there are actually two successful outcomes to Plan B: 1. the marriage is restored 2. The marriage ends because YOU are ready to end it. While knowing you have done all you can do. This is a decision that is made without anger if plan B has been successful.

As for cutting off financial support, that depends on the laws of your state and who is taking care of the children of the marriage. It should be done if it can be done, as you are to not meet any of her EN's if you can avoid it. At least until the A is over.

So just remember Plan B is about you and preserving the marriage, any ancilliary results from your absence from her life are a bonus.

Hope this helps.

God Bless,

JL