Okay, here I am, another cliche.

My wife of 9 years(we're both 34) met someone at work. They have been having what would REALLY constitute as an affair for about 6 months but there was another 6 months prior of buildup.

She loves me. She tells me. She thinks it's wrong. She's sorry. Everything from the books makes sense but she can't just kick the "habit."

We have tried some STOP ALL CONTACT options and they have not panned out. I would like to give her two options for separating but would like opinions.

OPTION A: I move out and in a non-mean way cut off all contact with her and let her actually DATE this guy and get to know him, his friends, do NORMAL things with him and have NORMAL conversations with him that aren't all stolen moments and secretive and see what happens. If she decides he's actually the one(I know, not likely) then I know that and can move on or if she decides she REALLY wants to get out of it, hopefully I'll still be in the condition to work with her on that.

OPTION B: She actually MOVES moves. Like to another state where one of her good girl friends lives and basically cuts off contact from both of us and tries to figure things out. The only thing is this way the bubble of the affair may never seem to have been broken to her and she may still wonder if he WAS the one.

I appreciate your opinions.

schander

Post on the general questions forum. There is more traffic there. Oh, by the way, welcome to MarriageBuilders. Hmmmmm. How about she moves out and "dates" him?

Have you done a good Plan A?

thanks for the welcome and the tip. I guess when I say "date" I am just referring to the period of time when the cat's out of the bag and she has to find out what he's really like when they aren't relying on only stolen, "precious" moments and secret notes, secret calls, secret everything. A period of time when I stop providing ALL of the emotional needs she also, well, needs : )

Please go to general questions. We can help you.