I am venting here because i know that my husband doent look in this forum.

One of teh main reasons that I left him was because I felt totally alone as far as the hopusework went. we have 7 children. keeping the home nice is VERY difficult.

This morning I got up early. he was already on the computer chatting with the homosexuals. Now 2.5 hrs later I have changed our bedding, swept, mopped and vacuumed the whole house, cleaned the bathroom, tidied up, done 2 loads of washing and hung it out on ther line and got teh weashing in and packed it away into closets. An hour ago he told me he would help me "in a minute". he is still sitting naked infront of the computer chatting with the homosexuals. I am compl;etely alone here. Sometimes I wonder WHY I want to save this marriage.

In our bedroom there is amassive pile of clothing in the middle of the floor where he says I cant pack his clothes away. each day I wash his things and add to it. Even his tuixedo is there froma dance we went to at the beginning of last month. Now he says he cant do it because "I cant get to the wardrobe". Our bed has a massiove heap of things in the corner of it that HE has put there. I recognise ourbed as a "hot spot" and have begged him not to put things on it.

The strange thing is that he used to get depressed because the house wasnt tidy. Now I am doing my best. I feel VERY GUILTY because the bedroom isnt clear but it is all HIS STUFF. My things arew packed away inot the 20% of storage space that he has let me have since I came back.

Im really just venting. This is typical of how I am trying so hard on thsi marriuage and he does NOTHING!

I want a nice home, physically and spiritually but it seems I am the giver aND HE DOES NOTHING BUT TAKE. i AM SO angry. HE HAS NO IDEA . Hes just sitting there chatting unaware. And HE DOESNT CARE.

som3etimes i wish he would just leave. he contributes NOTHING to our family except going out to work. He is on half days at school now that its sumemr . he works 3 hours a day and he DOES NOTHING at home.

its got better. Im glad i vented here and not at him. he finally (3 hrs later) started tidying up his pile. Has just tickled teh surface really but ast least he made a start.....

Thanks for listening"

Dear Debbra,

I am a husband who spends more time on the coumputer that I probably should. I rationalize that I am working to improve my mariage.

But I need to get my basement better organized. So a number of feelings came up for me as I read your VENT. Thank you for sharing.

I have read your story, and I may have responded, but I don't find it now. Turning Gay is not a simple thing to reverse, I don't imagine. Is there any way to incoroprate his drives into the marital bedroom? Is there some visual thing that can be compromised on?

I assume there are many women married to bisexual men. How do they handle homosexual drives of their husbands?

I can identify with your husband's procrastination on taking time to organize my stuff in the household. What encouraging words do you have for your husband and me?

Blessings.

<small>[ July 05, 2004, 05:38 PM: Message edited by: Whaler ]</small>