I am currently reading Dr. Harley's book His Needs, Her Needs and have ordered Surviving An Affair. They are giving me much needed hope that my marriage is not completely lost. Thank you!
I think that my husband has been having an affair for about a year. I have pleaded, threatened, and calmly talked about the situation with him, but he is hopelessly addicted to the woman. He assures me that he is not having an affair with her, and indeed I do not have prove of a physical relationship. The emotional relationship, however, is out in plain sight for everyone to see. About a month ago, I told him that my heart was slowly turning against him despite my best efforts, and that I was afraid our relationship would end in divorce within a year. I asked him to stop seeing her and begin working with me in earnest on rebuilding our relationship. He refused to stop seeing her. After a couple of weeks, he offered to reserve the weekends for me and our children, but even that seems to be excruciatingly painful for him. He frequently e-mails or telephones her when I am otherwise occupied such as in the shower. I think they also work hard to coordinate "accidental" meetings. He is not working outside the home right now and she is a stay-at-home mother so they have lots of free time together during the week.
I know that there were many unmet needs on both sides in our marriage before he met the other woman. I am eager to begin working on them. I have told him that I have dreams for our marriage, but have not mentioned specifics needs or plans of action to him yet.
In a little over a month, we will be moving far away from the other woman. I asked my husband if he hoped to put our marriage back together after we left and he replied "I don't know." I got the same answer when I asked if he planned to keep in contact with her. My question for you is should I try to institute Plan A now or having waited this long would it have better chance of success if I waited for the physical separation?
