Hi, I am new here and I would like to ask some questions. My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years and have 2 kids both 6 years old and we separated 2 months ago, she asked me to move out because she was tired of trying to save the marriage and came to the conclusion that she could never be happy with me, that she feels that if she doesnt want to try anymore is because she doesnt love me anymore the same way she used to. She is right in some of the complaints that she have about me but she made many mistakes too, neither of us has had an affair is just that she blames everything on my caracter, she says that it is to strong and when I have an angry outbursts she feels very bad and that she hasnt felt loved for some time, the wierd thing about it is that I never knew she was unhappy or how unhappy she was, we had some fights here and there but nothing that big, we came from a 1 month trip to Europe and we had a great time, 1 month after that she decided to call it quits because of an stupid fight.
We went to couples therapy twice together and a few times on our own, we changed therapists because we didnt like the first one, she went only to one session together and one on her own and hasn't come back yet, I am still going on my own. When she asked me to move out I told her that I wanted to try and save the marriage but she said that she was to tired to try and that she wanted me to sign a Legal separation and I told her that she was going to have to wait because it was to fast for me but she said she wanted a divorce and we had to wait for a year after the separation. She kept presuring me over the signing and I kept telling that I wasnt ready, after a month of the separation I went on a trip and one day I called her and told her that I was ready, when I came back on a Monday she made me go to the house instead of letting me pick up the kids, she sat with me for 2 1/2 hours and told me that I looked happy and very simpatetic, we had a very good time, we talked abut the legal papers and we saw each other next friday to discus the terms of the legal separation, somehow she new that I went out with a girl in my trip a few times and was very angry about it then she called me from the lawyers office next tuesday telling me that the marriage is heading this way because I went out on my trip, I reminded her that it was her desicion not mine and that my going out has nothing to do with it and that it didnt meant nothing but still she was angry about it, the weird thing is that in the past I received the lawyers e-mail the next day and this time the e-mail never came. I saw her on friday when I went to pick up my kids and she started talking about our problem and told me that she now feels good about starting going out and I told her that it was fine with me if that is what she wants, thenshe calls on sunday and wanted to talk about the same thing and I told her that I didn't want to talk about the same thing all over again but she pressed the issue and I talked to her for over an hour, she told me that since neither of us want to try and save the marriage that is going to end in divorce, I told her that I love her but that I feel fine now but I don't know how I am going to feel in the future and that she is presuring things, then i went home to pick up the kids and we talked for another hour, she started crying because she felt frustrated that the marriage is going to be over, that I had done all the changes that she wanted but not with her but out of the house and that those changes are not important to her anymore, then I left and at night we talked on the phone for another hour, today I went to her house and asked her what was what she wanted and told me that she wants to sign the legal separation and wait the year and divorce, then she said that she didn't want the terms of the separation that we have areed a week before and that if she didnt want to sign them that way we could be on this situation for many years, I told her that I will only sign them the way they were and she told me that it is always like that with me, my way or the highway and I told her that she can think whatever she wants but we both agreed on the terms. I asked her why have you been all week trying to find out my position regarding us if you feel the same way and she played dumb telling me that she never said anything I got up and was ready to leave and she told to me not to, that she was sorry is she said things that I misunderstood but that she loves me but she made up her mind that she is never going to be happy with me, then she tells me to keep working on my changes, I told her that I love her but I feel good now and that the only way that our marriage can work is if she forgets all the problems of the past and start all over again but that is not what she wants now. I don't understand what is going on with her and altough I fell fine with myself now I do Love her very much and i dont want my marriage to end. Any help would be appretiated.
