HELLO EVERYONE,
IM NEW TO THIS SITE,SO PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.
I AM A 32 YR OLD WOMAN WITH 3 KIDS HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YRS BEEN TOGETHER FOR 16, WE WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS. I JUST FOUND OUT 2 MONTHS AGO THAT MY H HAD AN A. I DIDNT FIND THAT UNTIL AFTER HE HAD MOVED OUT OF THE HOUSE. (WE ARE LIVING APART I HAVE MY OWN HOME AND HE HAD COME BACK TO OUR HOME THAT WE BOUGHT TOGHETHER BUT IM STILL LIVING AWAY). HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT HE THINKS THAT ITS JUST GOING TO GO AWAY. THEY WORK TOGETHER AND SO FAR HE HAS CHANGED HIS SHIFT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BUT IT DOESNT. IN MY HEART I KNOW HES STILL SEEING HER BUT HE DOESNT WANT TO BE A MAN AND JUST TELL ME. HE SAYS WE CAN GET THRU THIS BUT I DONT KNOW IF I CAN I TELL HIM ALL THE TIME THAT I LOVE HIM AND I REALLY DO I DONT WANT TO BE APART BUT IF HE IS STILL WILLING TO LIE TO ME AND NOT TELL ME THE TRUTH IN ORDER FOR ME TO MOVE ON THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO..JUST GIVE IN.

Purchase and read Surviving an Affair, by Willard Harley. This book, written by the founder of this website, will give you insight to the dynamics of an affair, and why a marriage might become vulnerable to one.

The book will also help you look inside of yourself, and see some things you might have been doing that would contribute to the marriage being weak. No, those things don't excuse your spouse for infidelity, but changing those things as part of Plan A, will make you look more attractive to your WH.

Also, please refrain from posting in all-caps... it's interpreted as "yelling" in forums, and it's harder for us old folks to read. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Until you get the book, lay low and work on meeting your WH's emotional needs. Be pleasant and non-confrontational. The book will give you a plan on what to do to save your marriage.

SD