Since my situation isn't unique....I won't go into details....Wife had an affair with another man.
I don't feel hate toward her. No anger.
Just overwhelmingly hurt...betrayed.

To my point.....

I've made the past month since D-Day hell on her in a way that I shouldn't have. At least Plan A-WISE I have clung to her physically and emotionally. Outpoured my devotion, love, commitment, and bought her gifts. I'm sure all of those are NO-NO's right?
Well I couldn't help it.
However, despite me acting in this manner, she seems to be commited to staying in marriage.
She does work with OM. That is a difficult pill for me. Each time she goes to work my guts are torn out.

I've become emotionally unstable. Loss of control. To the extent that the nasty word "suicide" has become an issue. I was in the hospital, dragged from work by police, under the states mental hygine laws.( I called a suicide hot line....they traced it to my work place....they came and got me against my will). Lovely situation....more stress from all that.

While I still am unstable. Those feelings are still there. I have become able to lie about them to everyone (wife, parents, work place dr., and family Dr.) I do know I need help. I started taking prozac, I'm trying to find a counseller.
That is a huge stigma for me. Of course when the family Dr. outlined the side-effects....sexual disfunction being one of them
I did feel another blow to my "manhood" While I hate to sound petty...I do have to be honest.
I agreed to the prozac mainly from the Plan A/B description that Dr. Harley gave.
I do need to have a level head. Not just for my own well being. So that I can give my marriage a chance.

Now...to plan A?
My wife does still feel in love with OM....it has been 5 or 6 weeks since she ended the relationship. But her feeling haven't subsided.
She has confided this to me....I will not use that against her...use it to hurt her...I felt her telling me that was a step forward.
I haven't really created a "home" per plan A....mostly due to me being a literal basket case.
On one hand....I can accept what has happened...then I go off the edge. It's the not knowing what my wife will do that hurts. I can't be detached from the situation emotionally. That part kills me inside. yes the images of her and him kill me too....It's the waiting. The not knowing. But also she does still work with this person. I can't get her to quit. I won't make her....and she won't do it on her own. But it does hurt me. I would be less hurt if I knew she was going to stay. I would trust her. Yes she is still with me after more than a month...I just worry about her having her cake and eating it too.
I worry that taking prozac will make me stop caring enough to make a big deal about these things. I worry that by not being strong enough to make her quit her job there will never be trust. But I also can't bear the pain.

Can plan A work when WS and OM are still co-workers?

Do Drugs like Prozac stop you from caring so much you are willing to let go of what is most important to you?

How long does it take for addiction to OM to subside and fade? What is too long?

WS tells me she wants things to get back to normal. I'm scared to do that...fear of complacancy. Should I trust her?

How do I deal with my inner demons over the affair? Or does being on prozac help with that?

Finally, I took my first dose today....I had an obvious psychosomatic reaction....Felt like I was going out of my mind....I worry...Are there long term effects of being on drugs like prozac?
I know that the effects that opiates have on neural transmitters are permanent....is it the same for drugs like prozac? I don't want the only way for my brain to produce seritonin (spelling???) is via a drug.

Anyway...one answer....all the answers....a few.
Anything would be great. I know I have nothing to offer in return. But any support or help would be appreciated.
Thank you....

Naple, I understand where you are coming from. Depression untreated can lead to suidice. There is no shame in taking meds. Myself battle depression. I take 20mg of Lexapro once a day.
There is help out there for you.
Are you and your wife going to MC. It's the best thing that my and my W have done. She had an on going A for Twevel years. Jan. 2004 I confornted my W. Because for six months I felt my wife was haevn an A.
As for your W still having contact with the OM. Is not a good idea. As for me I told my W that if she wanted to rebuild this marriage she will have to have any contact with the OM. Our MC told her them sameting. Honesty is the best policy.

Naples....PLease dont worry about prozac stopping you from caring. Ive been on it since March (following a suicide attempt after finding out my husband had had a PA).

Far from stopping you caring, it actually helps to get your reactions to that caring under control. You mention anxiety, worry, instability etc. All these will slowly get much better with prozac. Before I had prozac I found coping with my situation very difficult. I woudl Lovebust and fly off the handle. I woudl get into deep conversations trying to get my husband to break contact. What prozac has done is to make me feel more like me. I have more patience and am more tolerant.

Plan A is a long and arduous course and above all we that undertake it need patience to deal with our distress. Prozac will give you a little help in this direction.

Now sexual disfunction...This CAN be a side affect of prozac but it may not be. It may even be a pleasant side affect as it may make you take more time to orgasm. I actually changed from paxil to prozac because the former made me unable to orgasm. I think the statistics are that 5% of prozac users have some sexual disfunction. Chances are that you wont be affected. the fact that you are fretting about this just shows how you are overreacting to things. You are building obstacles where they may not exist. If you are concerned about the side effects of various antidepressants, i can recommend a book ( that was recommended to me on this site) called "Feeling Good" by David Burns. This not only explains in detail teh functioning of various antidepressants but also presents an alternative/ additional mood therapy which could also help you.

Do not fret over the sexual dysfunction if it does happen, there are other anti depressants you can try.

Take your prozac, breathe deeply and relax. After a few weeks on prozac you will feel much more in control and much better able to carry out PlanA !