Well I am just introducing myself, though I have been lurking for months. My WS told me last week that he has striked up a new relationship with an ex-girlfriend from 17 years ago. This was after he had spent 3 months trying to reconcile with me after breaking off his other affair, marriage counseling, late night talks, everything.

Well, I wrote a letter telling him that we were not to have any relationship until he has made his choice. He is saying divorce and that he has been wanting this woman all this time.

Well, I have no clue of what to do except keeping to the plan that God has for me. Any words of encouragement or advice would help! Thanks!
Tina

Tina:

I'm so sorry you are going through this too. I know exactly how you feel . . . .helpless, betrayed, angry all within a moment. Take it a day at a time and don't make any rush decisions and DON'T let him blame you for his actions.

Also, get individual counseling - I look forward each week to my counselor, just to vent to someone other than my friends. And of course, read and visit this board - they have so much advise!

Tina,

Try this Dv Care to find the nearest support group.

God has a plan and you would be surprise what HE has for you.

Make sure you give plan B letter before you go dark on him.

-rh-

Thank you RH and Steffany!

I have written a PLAN B/goodbye letter. He did not take it well, though he really was the one to decide to "move on!" He is moping and finding an excuse to call or see me. We have a wonderful daughter who is still very confused about all the changes to our lives over the last 5 months.

I know that God has a plan for me. He will be the father to the fatherless and the husband to the husbandless.

I can only take one day at a time. This is very hard for me, an impatient, goal oriented,control freak planner. But this last five months, I have grown incredibly.

Plan B was/is difficult for me. I am on God's path, but have very little view of what is around me. That is a tough place to be.

I have appreciated the insight I have gained from this site, despite the fact I had not yet registered until deciding to enter Plan B.

Tina

docthorpe,

Plan B is tough place to be but the other alternatives are even more hurtful. {{{(((Hang in there)))}}}

-rh-

Redhat, you are in fact correct. Plan B may be difficult but the option of staying in the situation without guarding my heart is impossible, allowing my WH to "have his cake, and eat it too."

I am going to start a divorce recovery class. It starts in 1 week. Do you know any thing about the children's class?

Well, I keep plugging, Tina

docthorpe,

In my county, we have a class offer by Family and Child Services. I attended their "Kids in the Middle", a standard class order by the court whenever Dv case involve kids.

You could call 1-800-Suicide. This # will route you to a local crisis line of your county. Ask for referral about program for kids in your county. They have you local database.

-rh-

Tina -

I feel our situations are going side-by-side. This Plan B is such an emotional roller coaster for the BS. I woke up so mad this morning, then was crying an hour later because I missed him so much. I think seeing the kids hurt is the hardest thing - they just don't understand completely, heck, in fact, sometimes we adults don't understand either.

We'll both hang in their together - good luck.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I feel our situations are going side-by-side. This Plan B is such an emotional roller coaster for the BS. I woke up so mad this morning, then was crying an hour later because I missed him so much. I think seeing the kids hurt is the hardest thing - they just don't understand completely, heck, in fact, sometimes we adults don't understand either.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The kids are the true victims. They did nothing at all to enter into this situation. I know that decisions I have made have contributed to the downward spiral of my marriage, but my DD is an innocent.

The comforting thought is that I know she and I will be OK. I am sticking to God's plan for me. Not always easy, but very important.

This is the toughest thing that I have ever had to do. Thanks for your point, Tina