I have just joined this amazing place where I can see many people have been though the same experiences as myself. My husband admitted to me just over a year ago that he had been having an affair with a co-worker. It has been occurring for 2-3 months. At the time, I was 5 weeks away from having our second child and we had just bought a house. I was absoulutely devistated yet at the time, we needed to concentrate on the birth of our son and my true feelings and emotions about the affair really got pushed to the side.We both recieved a small amount of counselling yet we mutually agreed that the woman we were seeing made us feel uncomfortable.Now a year on I am really starting to think constantly about it & what he actually did. All the progress we have made is turning sour and the more I think about it, the more I withdraw. Can somebody out there please advise me on why all of a sudden I feel this way and what I should do to aleviate the withdrawral from my husband, and to stop invisioning him with another woman

<small>[ January 13, 2005, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: firefly25 ]</small>

You buried the problem--alive. Your emotions are letting you know that you still have a problem in your heart and marriage that needs to be dealt with. Have you done lots of reading on this site? Great place to start. Counseling can be wonderful given the right counselor. Don't give up. Listen to your gut and begin to work through this issue. It is begging to be brought back out into the light and worked through. Your husband will probably not be very understanding, but this is something you must do for the sake of your self and your marriage. Also, he needs to work on himself to make sure this doesn't happen again!

thank you for the last comments that you made. My husband has dealt with this prob, and I know that I have to bring it up with him again some time soon and the need that I have to discuss it futher with a counsellor. I will make it a priority!!

Welcome to MB,

My name is Orchid. I usually post on GQII but took a peek at this site tonight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Please review the concepts section above. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this along with a baby and new home. Those are all stressful sitches.

In the concepts section you will find info on phone counseling. I recommend you setup some time to meet with Steve H @ MB. He can help both you and your H get into a plan to help repair your M.

What is your H doing now? Is he still in the A? You need help in addition to your H. Your feelings need t/b addressed.

Please read: Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs - both are by Dr. W. Harley.

It will be a good place to start.

take care,
L.