Well, in my frenzy to fill in 20 referrals to get a coupon for a free something or other, I included my husband's email address in a "fre offer" list. The slug, instead of ignoring it, sent me a rambling reply (which I shall include below)... y'all can tell me if you think the slug doth protest too much ... she certainly gets all excited about nothing, that's for sure...(btw, I keep these messages in an email folder called "SAVED: Dirt" LOL) <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Terri,<BR>We don't want any FREE samples.NOTHING HAS CHANGED STOP E-MAILING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Find a new love with the new year, be happy life is to short to be alone and unhappy. H is not coming back to you,he is happy here with me. Sorry don't mean to hurt your feelings,but someone needs to tell you.That is what H told me! Ask him to be honest with you and if what I say is true. Terri, Let go, start dating,live life and be happy.<BR>The sooner you let go the sooner you'll find someone who will love you and treat you the way you want be. Good Luck to you in the new year you need it. <P> Slug<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Wow ... she wants me to be happy ... What bi**h ... oops - now there goes my New Year's resolution already ... I resolved to be kind to crawling things in the year 2000... <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Oh,, geezzzz. <P>I don't know what I would be doing right now if I had recieved that via email.. Good luck to you. I don't really have any advise just letting you know someone is here<P>thanks <BR>christine

Terri,<BR>Sounds like she if feeling a bit insecure. Or more than a bit. <P>Is it the middle of the night where you are, like it is for me? I decided there isn't much point in going to bed, since one or the other of my kids has been throwing up hourly. <P>My H's OW, when he initially introduced her to the kids, went by her real name, which is the same as mine. As of a couple of weeks ago, she is now going by a nickname, different from mine, and my H refers to me to her by my initials, according to my son. I guess she doesn't want to share a name with me anymore than I do.<BR>

Nellie, I was just gonna go to bed but wanted to take a minute to let you know that, Yes, it IS the middle of the night where I am - on the east coast US... Or should I say it's nigh on to morning...<P>The slug shares a name with one of my sisters and one of my sil's ... no wonder I never found out about her for three years!<P>G'night all!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Oops ... didn't mean to leave you out, camjon. Don't worry about me - I think she is amusing!<P>The more insecure she is, the better I like it. <P>Hey - y'don't think I have Plan A'd for 15.5 months without a sense of humor, do ya?<P>Now I REALLY have to get some sleep ... Three hours or so ... UGH! <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

terri,<P>"being kind to crawling things" is way over-rated...<P>Ignore the e-mail... <P>Jim

Hey there Terri,<P>You're doing fine, and yes, I do believe your fortitude makes her uncomfortable. Glad you can keep your sense of humor over it all.<P>Be well (and sleep!)<P>DMac

YES, she protests too much. Look at what she said...<P> " H is not coming back to you, he is<BR> happy here with me. Sorry don't mean<BR> to hurt your feelings, but someone<BR> needs to tell you. That is what H<BR> told me! Ask him to be honest with<BR> you and if what I say is true. "<P>H didn't say it. She is freely quoting him but what he said to her may be for her ears only. She is right in that he is the one who needs to respond before you pay attention. <P>Also, she refers to him as H. Husband is a very powerful word when you consider what it means. <P>

Terri,<P>I may not have a favorable outlook on this but here it goes none the less.<P>I remember alot about your story from when I was here before and I can't believe after 15.5 months you are still here.<P>Terri I mean this with all the heart felt compassion I can muster, and I know how hard this is for you to hear or consider but I think it is time to move on with your life and let your H go.<P>I don't feel like this OW's e-mail sound insecure at all as much as we all would like to think that is what it is because it provides us with comfort and hope but that doesn't mean that is the case.<P>Your H is not the man you love anymore and I doubt he ever will be again. I believe that you are wasting precious time here and furthermore I don't think your H even deserves someone that loves him like that.<P>Terri I know that this is painful for you and I don't mean to betray you by speaking thse words but sometimes it is better to speak the truth as you see it rather than pacify someone with what they want to hear.<P>Even if you and your H did get back together... he will not be the same person and niether will you. There is no way that you can just pick up where you left off and say all is forgiven and be happy. It doesn't work like that.<P>I know that this will probally make you mad because it made me mad too when I was told this and I couldn't see it then or didn't want to I'm not sure which but after time passed I can now see where it was true. <P>I believe that this has become more of an obsession a quest for success... and Terri that is not healthy for you and that is not love either.<P>I think he is incapable of loving you the way you want to be or need to be loved.<P>When will enough be enough for you... when will you graciously concede to defeat and move on to greener pastures? You are a lovely person and you have alot to offer someone that who will love you back. You need someone who will give as well as take-- this relationship is a take take relationship and you are the only one giving.<P>I do not mean to hurt you but sometimes the truth does hurt. We all can not be success stories as much as we all would like to be. Don't waste your life like this, he is not worth it no one is.<P>You have done a great job but now I think you really need to stop and be true to yourself rather than true to him.<P>I don't mean to hurt you terri I really don't but I think it is time that you stop contributing to your own hurt and pain and move on to someone who will appreciate you and love you for who you are.<P>Genie<BR>

I think your resolution is safe, sounds more like she slithers.<P>------------------<BR>Lots of love,<BR>Viki<P><BR>

I saw the topic - another email from the slug..... and then I saw the wink... So I knew you are above the thorn in your side!<P>I was hoping the email was demanding and posessive!!!!! YES Because if she gets nowhere with you, she is going to start her demands and possessiveness on him, openly!!!!<P>YES She is ready to start lovebusting!!! Make sure that your husband doesn't find you annoying him with the emails - but if HE doesn't find what you are doing unreasonable, and she does, then keep it up because it will just cause her to lovebust. That is what we want. <P>Your strength and perseverence amaze me!!! <P>

Terri,<BR>The slug is a nut. I know in her shoes I'd "make" (like the all-powerful OZ I am ) your H be the one to tell you these things. He isn't saying these words, the useless OW is.<P>Genie, as I have said, your situation resolved rather quickly. Yes I know it seemed long to you and you got all the way to court, but your discovery to H coming home for good was measured in months. You also had a difficult time with Plan A. Some of us, like Terri, like me, don't get the easy resolution and we're looking at the Harley 2 year time frame. If Terri has the strength to wait and Plan A--I'm behind her. I believe she knows her H has changed and doesn't want the marriage the way it was, she wants it better.<P>Do be true to yourself, Terri. There is nothing wrong with being steadfast and standing for your marriage.<P><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Leaving saucers of beer out... hoping for her to drown...<P>

Terri-<P>First and foremost Happy New Year to you. You obviously are goint to get many different suggestions from everyone here...and that is O.K.<P>As we have "Talked" in other e-mail messages you are truly one of the most unique women on this earth with the Plan A campaing you have waged all these months.<P>I'm sorry you had to receive an e-mail like that. Only you can follow your heart and do what you think is right for your marriage and life...and honestly, I feel you firmly do believe the path you are following is the right path for you.<P>You have refused to let anger overpower you and become the basis of what makes you move forward each and every day.<P>I wish you continued support, resolve and peace as you try to find your way back to your marriage.I wish you and everyone you hug a Healthy and Happy New Year.<P>Best to you in 2000.<P>mrrlk<P>

<BR>terri,<P>The email from the slug screams insecurity. In fact, the fact that she replied at all is a mark of insecurity, I think. If your husband really felt that he's not coming back, and that he's happy with the slug, then he'd say it to *you* instead of her. At least if he really believed it! <P>I have to admit, part of me agrees with Genie29 - you're such a nice person that I really wonder if cutting your losses wouldn't be the best thing, though. Of course you need to make this decision on your own, and nobody is going to fault you for standing up for your marriage.<P>Bystander

Do two things:<P>- Send a brief, polite apology for sending them the e-mail<BR>- Don't send her any more e-mail that could be interpreted as spam.<P>It may have looked to her as if you were sending junk e-mail to either stay in contact, or annoy her. Even if these were not your intentions, it would be best to avoid this. It makes you look bad to your H. <BR>It is much more difficult to pull something negative from an e-mail that says 'Sorry for the unwanted post. I apologize, and I won't do it again'. <P>Regards<P>------------------<BR>

It's very difficult to sit around and wathch people "suffer" doing something in which there seems little hope of accomplishing. But terri is not simply waiting on H to wake up. When it is time for her to gon on with her life, she will. She is following Harleys plans as best she can (and doing a darn fine job I might add )<P>So many people here want to jump ship after 3-6 months. Why? Sure it's extremely difficult, but the time frames are what is needed to get through all the crap. No where in SAA does it say it will be easy nor over quickly.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

It's very difficult to sit around and wathch people "suffer" doing something in which there seems little hope of accomplishing. But terri is not simply waiting on H to wake up. When it is time for her to gon on with her life, she will. She is following Harleys plans as best she can (and doing a darn fine job I might add )<P>So many people here want to jump ship after 3-6 months. Why? Sure it's extremely difficult, but the time frames are what is needed to get through all the crap. No where in SAA does it say it will be easy nor over quickly.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

<BR>Chris,<P>You're on target...its very difficult for me to watch people suffer. Actually, let me correct that: I can handle watching people suffer so long as there is a payback for all the suffering. I don't want to see terri or anyone else suffering needlessly. That's what's tough.<P>Bystander

I agree with Chris. There is no time frame when you still love someone. I have heard get on with your life from more people than I care to count. But they always follow that up with finding someone new. Why do they assume that getting on with your life is jumping into a new relationship. Although I would love to have my H back and would like to work on my marriage...it isn't going to happen. I can still try if I want...you never know. But in the mean time I am getting on with my life. It just hasn't been with me out looking for someone else to love. If I choose to still love my H it is my business. If I choose to wait for him to come to his senses...it is my business. I am not hurting anyone...not even myself. If I choose to live the rest of my life without a mate...it is my decision. Some say I deserve more...that there is someone out there who will love me the way I want and need to be loved. Yes there is...he just doesn't realize he is making a mistake right now.<BR>Nancy